This weekend we learned:

• That in order for balance to be restored to the universe, Roger Federer and Tiger Woods must engage in a Highlander-esque battle to the finish. There can be only one.
• That Paris Hilton is even skeezier and shadier than originally imagined. And that we think we might know that fat guy with a kilo on his chest.
• That since it was a slow weekend, we should all take a second to appreciate Sharon Stone’s self esteem issues and her well-aged front court.

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