This week’s Punch in the Face Friday award will not only be preemptive, but it will also be shared between two equally worthy honorees.

Since we’re 99.9% positive that both Al Davis and Matt Millen will figure out additional way to royally fuck up there team’s respective drafts this weekend, we figured we’d go ahead and award them with a soon to be deserved punch in the face.

The smart thing for each to do would be trade down for more picks and load up in need areas, which for each team is QB, RB, TE, OL, DL, S, CB, LB, and Special Teams.

But we all know what is going to happen, Al Davis and the Raiders are going to take Jamarcus Russell so they can watch him hum footballs into the upper deck while the Raiders lose by two touchdowns to every other team in the AFC West. OR, the Silver and Gold may sack up and take the best player in the draft (our boy, Calvin Johnson) and spend a season watching CJ dominate NFL corners downfield while Andrew Walter limp wrists balls into the dirt three yards past the line of scrimmage.

As for Millen, he might as well just draft Maurice Clarett and the guy who played wide receiver in that Keanu Reeve’s movie “The Replacements” for good measure. Once last solid “suck it” to the good people of Detroit.

In all reality, there’s just not much two guys like these can do over a weekend to fix years of taking stupid pills. Seriously, how tough is it to not to be a complete dipshit when running an NFL franchise? We’re 100% certain we could go back in time five years and replace Oakland and Detroit management with the Asian kid on our hall freshman year that dedicated 24 hours a day to War Craft and masturbating and things wouldn’t be as bad for these teams as they are right now.

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