Conspiracy Theory Thursday: Rich Eisen, Bitch Slayer
May 3rd, 2007 by NextRound
With Leather has done a really solid job of keeping us updated on the Rich Eisen/Alycia Lane/Suzy Shuster bikini email happenings. You should already be aware of this story, mainly because it’s really funny/random/ridiculous and bikini pictures are involved, but if you aren’t check out this and this.
The short of it is: Rich Eisen (NFL Network, seems to be OK guy) is married to Suzy Shuster (long faced ABC sideline reporter, we think Rich aimed a little low), and Alycia Lane (bimbo Philly News Anchor, possibly had stint in porn) sent pictures of herself in a bikini to Rich’s email address only to have Shuster intercept the email and write an angry email back to Alycia. Good stuff right? (The only shitty thing about this story is that the bikini pics haven’t been released yet.)
Tons of places are reporting this story. And reporting isn’t what we’re about so we don’t really care to give you all the facts or the apology. All we want to do is get right down to baseless speculation on the only thing we care about: whether or not Rich Eisen is boning the slutty anchor or not.
Why we think Rich is boning her:
1) From what we’ve gathered, the slutty anchor is way hotter than Shuster (who looks like she definitely went to college on a volleyball scholarship).
2) We’ve got really keen slut detection abilities (years of practice) and from the few shots we seen of Alycia, she’s definitely oozing backdoor skankiness. Our best guess she smells like stripper.
3) Alycia apparently has no issue teasing men richer than her husband with the poon.
4) We know guys like Rich guys and, well, when some slutty news anchor is asking for it, they’re asking for it. Enough said.
Why we think Rich isn’t boning her:
1) Rich Eisen is a unich.
So feel free to run with the analysis and draw your own conclusion to this debate.















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