As of yesterday we thought Curt Schilling and his self aggrandizing faucet of a mouth had Punch in The Face Friday all but locked up. And he technically is still the winner for a multitude of misdoings over the past few years, but it is impossible for us to pass up a kick ass Pac Man Jones story.

First off, there’s no denying that Pac Man is awesome. Not awesome in a ‘guy you’d like to have a beer with and wouldn’t mind giving your sister a ride to the airport’ kind of way. But awesome in the ‘Tommy just killed Spider’ level of insanity sense. The dude has some serious psychotic tendencies and really should not be allowed to walk the streets. BUT, at the same time, he generates jaw dropping stories like only Mike Tyson could. So we’re definitely battling an internal struggle over whether we despise Pac Man or are enamored with him. Just an FYI.

Anyway, this new story begins with Pac Man in New York on the eve of his appeal to the one year suspension handed down by the NFL. Pac Man’s main purpose in the NYC is to validate his rehabilitation and see if he can get his suspension cut down.

The only issue is: it’s pretty fucking hard to not hit up a strip club in New York on a Sunday night with all the end of the weekend skanky bitches on shift and a prime rib special that keeps on giving. Making it rain doesn’t take a day off for the lord, like it or not.

Chris Mortensen has reported that several sources have confirmed that Pac Man was at a strip club Sunday night, hours before his appeal meeting and hours after he had a come to Jesus talk with Takeo Spikes and Troy Vincent.

Mort has almost certainly locked in a Pulitzer with this one. Simply outstanding work.

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