We were under the assumption that when Lance Armstrong retired, the American sports public began a silent pact to no longer discuss cycling in any form. Well, we were OK with the occasional announcement of who won the Tour de France, but only if it served the primary purpose of making fun of French people for being smelly and putting mayonnaise on everything, and not actually feeding cycling interest.

But then all this Floyd Landis/doping garbage goes down and it’s all over ESPN and sports radio, and now there’s some crazy convoluted hearing involving guys in spandex shorts, innappropriate cell phone calls, and alleged sexual abuse that we’re all going to have forced down our throats by the mainstream media for the next six months.

We blame Landis. He should have treated his whole being stripped of the Golden Handlebars thing (or whatever the hell they hand out to the Tour de France winner) as the none story it was. Doesn’t he realize his sport is the WNBA as far as we’re concerned? Has no one told him everyone drives in his country and no one uses the carpool lane? And why isn’t he more jacked up if he’s doping? The guy’s a toothpick. That’s another reason he sucks. He can’t even do steroids right. Landis, step down for your punch in the face.

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