Kobe Bryant–by just being Kobe Bryant–asks for a punch in the face on an every day basis. This week he has just happened to act like a really public douchebag via the media as compared to the largely private douchebag he is the other 51 weeks of the year (god help us, people better be talking Lebron today and not Kobe). But if you take a look at just this past week as a whole, Jerry Buss deserves a punch in the face more than anyone.

Think about how bad this creepy old dude’s week has been. Buss gets hit with a DUI charge to start off. Never a good sign. Then, a few days later, he flips on the TV or radio just in time to see/hear that Kobe is demanding a trade from the Lakers. Then Buss has the pleasure of sitting on his hands and being a spectator to Kobe’s media martyr tour across America, where Kobe broadcasts how he had nothing to do with the Shaq trade and how the Lakers’ organization unjustly pinned it on him. And then after taking in the shitstorm, Buss gets to tuck his balls away and go groveling back to Kobe, stroking the Mamba’s ego, telling him we’re all frustrated, making promises about the organization’s success that he can’t keep.

Cap all that off with having to do a press conference where you pretty much tell the world how dickless you’ve had to be about this whole Kobe thing and you’ve got yourself a shitty week.

Side Note: Buss did have a random 23 year old lady friend–odds are a high class stripper–riding shotgun with him when he got pulled over for the DUI. With a few solid photos of this chick this part of the story could probably outweigh all the negatives listed above. But since there are no photos and the lady friend part doesn’t support our argument, she was his unfortunate looking niece as far as we’re concerned.

So, Jerry, you’re old and pretty creepy looking, and as of today, your primary job duty (attempting to get in the pants of girls younger than your granddaughters) has been replaced by the duty of consistently begging your sociopathic narcissist superstar to stay away from the media. Sounds like you’ve already been punched in the face.

Others receiving votes:

• Kobe Bryant.
• Baseball’s Kobe Bryant, Alex Rodriquez. Not stripper related. Because that story was awesome.
• Enrique Iglesias, who is apparently still with Anna Kournikova.
• The Steelers coach who accidentally emailed porn to everyone in the league…for apologizing.

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