In our ongoing attempt to help get college football season here as quickly as possible, we’re bringing you all the little stories that will help the clock tick by. Think of this as your 8 AM level off beer.

And what better way to level off than with what has already taken too long to get here: the immortalization of Georgia QB, Matt Stafford. A T-Shirt was really the only medium that was going to do this justice. We’re very happy it’s here. The FanHouse

In a recent meeting with a senator from Alabama, it’s rumored that W, “The President”, gave the senator all kinds of shit about Nick Saban’s massive contract and how he hopes tax payer money is going to good use.

Well, first off, it’s nice to see our president’s priorities are in the right place. Secondly, doesn’t he sound a little bitter about the whole Saban blowing him off thing last year? Kind of like that chick you pretended to date and then quit calling when someone better came along? And lastly, we’re just about certain that–if polled–90% of the taxpaying citizens of Alabama would have no problem with every dime of their state taxes going to the Alabama football program. Of course, you’d have to get all 250 of them in a room to take the poll. Bong! The FanHouse

For all you dudes out there that like to follow the bench press and 40 times of high school boys, some interesting news today as Rivals.com is acquired by Yahoo.

Who’s kidding who? We have a Rivals membership too. Their content is far superior than what you find anywhere else, even if it does on occasion border on homo-erotic. Let’s all just hope that Yahoo doesn’t start plastering exclamation points everywhere and try to pull off a bunch of synergy bullshit that never pans out. Techcrunch

And in news not entirely college football related, but close enough for our purposes, KSK unearthed/created an awesome Ben Roethlisberger urban legend where Ben claims: as a challenge while at Miami-Ohio he used to select a sorority and then attempt to bone every chick in it. The friend of a friend reporting the “story” even makes it sound like Ben was successful the majority of the time.

Now that, our friends, is the kind of juicy behind the scenes info that people that read this site are interested in. True, we’ve all seen some chicks from Miami-Ohio, and let’s just say it’s not SEC country, and let’s just say that maybe “mediocre” is the first adjective that comes to mind when visualizing them, but still, amazingly intriguing story nonetheless. Especially when you take into account that the guy supposedly pulling this off has the IQ of a sack of potatoes.

We have so many questions and not enough answers. Kissing Suzy Kolber

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