We should seriously send have some StillAwesome.com t-shirts made so we could give like forty to John Stamos.

We’ve never really had any beef with Stamos (everyone has some form of a mullet in the late 80’s, early 90’s, right?), but until today we had no idea on just how intent Stamos is on maintaining his own personal awesomeness.

So this is how the discovery unfolded. We’re sifting through some headlines after a busy morning of being cool, and what do we see? Not one, but like three titles devoted to Stamos himself (Page Six, IDLITW, etc). We developed a little bit of an afternoon chubby just seeing Uncle Jesse getting some play, but little did we realize that things were about to get much, much better, funnier, more entertaining, we’re running out of adjectives.

Here’s what you need to know:

1) Stamos is in Australia doing a press tour for people who have boomerangs and not televisions. HILARIOUS.

2) Stamos appeared to be drunk and on drugs the entire time. BAD ASS.

3) On television, Australian television, while being taped, he managed to: a) Proclaim his boss has a small penis, b) Compare his career to Elivis’s because his career is dead after doing a press tour in Australia, c) pronounce his own name wrong, and d) DRUM ROLL PLEASE…Insinuate he had sex with Mary-Kate Olsen at his beach house…

FUCKING AMAZING.

Stamos went on later to blame it all on jet lag–just like we do when we can’t perform with ugly chicks–but we think the only excuse for Uncle J’s behavior is that he came down with a brutal case of awesomeness.

Sex with the Olsens, he he he.

Runner’s Up:

• Steve Guttenberg - Nothing really to report except that his name was mentioned in an article with Elton Brand and that he’s not dead. Keep on rockin’, Gute. Page Six

• Harrison Ford - Not completely washed up per se, but the whole Calista Flockhart thing was a big step in the right direction. New “Indiana Jones 4″ pics just came out. Juries out on this one. Popoholic

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