We weren’t going to write about the NBA two days in a row, and we were against presenting the PITFF award to someone for the second time, but after reviewing the evidence during last night’s draft, this week’s winner was indisputable. We just wish this guy didn’t suck so much so we could spread the love.

Joakim Noah is awful, terrible, and every other word you can think of to describe the most obnoxious non-reality show contestant walking the planet. Sure, Noah’s outfit and shit eating smile last night were an attempt to be ironic, satirizing the draft just like the dude attempts to parody everything else. We get it. It’s just not clever or funny or cool.

Joakim Noah is not Charles Barkley or Chad Johnson or even T.O. for that matter (at least T.O. had a three year span there where he was genuinely clever). You know who Joakim Noah is? He’s that guy in high school who had a little too much at stake in being voted class clown for his senior superlative. He tries too hard. And that ends up translating to an end product that is 95% slit-your-wrists annoying and 5% clever.

Congrats, Joakim. Congrats. You’re an idiot and you deserved to be punched in the grill.

And while we’re congratulating people, let’s not forget the city of Chicago. Looks like they’ve finally found the heir apparent to Jordan in this goofy looking French bastard. Congrats on at least five years of reading Noah’s inane ramblings to the media and having your eyes assaulted by his fugly mug and creepy facial distortions at least once a week.

Also, congrats to the Bulls. You managed to draft a high energy rebounder/defensive specialist with the #9 pick a year after breaking the bank on Ben Wallace. In the words of our hero, Vince Vaugh: “Way to think it through.”

Side Note: Another well deserved congrats to JB for being a Gators fan. You must be so proud of Noah. Wear your jean shorts to the next NextRound event. We can’t wait.

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