It’s tough to be a sports fan and avoid A-Rod news. Whether it’s choking in the playoffs, being hated by New York fans, frequenting poker rooms, or just coming off as kind of a pussy to the majority of us guys’ guys out there, love him or think he sucks (you most likely think he sucks), the guy is everywhere.

The dude’s most recent headlines include that he may miss the all-star game and that his wife wore a tank top with an F bomb on it to Yankee stadium. Not to mention that story about his late nights with a Canadian stripper that we thought was really cool and bad ass found interesting.

We could probably justify a punch in the face for just about anything A-Rod does in public (except for being married and hanging out with strippers, that gets you a complimentary lap dance), but none of his day to day headlines irritate us too much. We kind of take him for the bit of a douchebag he is. If anything, the headlines–and the supporting photos–just pointed us in the right direction of what’s really wrong with the guy.

A-Rod has gross fucking taste in women.

Has anyone being paying attention to the chicks in this dude’s life? Is this being documented? Is there an “Outside the Lines” in the works? Because every female that we’ve ever seen with A-Rod looks like she might be the one on top in the missionary position. We’re talking massive triceps, well-defined backs, and features like Bea Arthur.

First you have A-Rod’s wife (above and to the right), who not only looks like more of a dude than some of the prettier guys we know, but kind of resembles our high school gym teacher, except minus the mustache and with a bigger adam’s apple. What uber-famous, uber-rich athlete marries a chick like this? Is A-Rod familiar with Tiger Woods? Can someone introduce them? Swedish nannies/former models may be the more well received route to take when choosing a wife.

And then you have the Canadian stripper. This in theory sounds pretty awesome, but in reality it turns out she is more likely to give you a killer spot on the bench press than a boner. Even after examining her naked with big fakies, we imagine there have to be like one million hotter strippers in the club A-Rod frequents in Canada.

Bottom Line: Alex Rodriguez is either a closet homosexual or just has really fucked up taste in chicks. We think we’d be more comfortable with him being gay, because these she-males he’s associated with are flat out gross.

A-Rod, punch you in the face.

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