News broke today that Redskins’ Tight End Chris Cooley is now engaged to a former Redskins’ cheerleader. She is the same cheerleader that the Redskins fired for socializing with Chris Cooley. Kind of awesome, right?

But there’s so much more to the story. The Washington Post article is pretty long though, so we’ll just recap the Chris Cooley cool and tough parts for you, roughly in chronological order:

• Cooley starts dating one Redskins’ cheerleader.
• Said cheerleader introduces Cooley to her friend that is also a Redskins’ cheerleader.
• Both cheerleaders get fired by the Redskins for fraternizing with a player.
• Cooley dumps the original cheerleader he was dating for the second cheerleader. He likes her better.
• All Redskins’ cheerleaders turn on him and refuse to acknowledge him when he scores a touchdown.
• Cooley wins a $100 bet with a teammate by individually introducing himself as “Captain Chaos” to five Rams’ captains during the pregame coin flip.
• Cooley quickly becomes known as “Captain Chaos”.
• Cooley gets scolded by Joe Gibbs for eating apple sauce of the floor of an airplane.
• Cooley and his now fiance’s father take 21 shots of Jim Beam apiece to celebrate the fiance’s 21st birthday.
• Cooley and his fiance’s family go to a strip club in West Virginia called “Vixens” where he is immediately recognized and cheered.
• Cooley proposes to the cheerleader he got fired.
• Cooley hangs out with Dale Jr.
• Current Redskins cheerleaders continue to not like him very much.

How do you not love this guy? He’s like the more endearing redneck version of Jeremy Shockey. Cooley is officially #1 overall on our fantasy boards. Fuck LT.

[Sources: Washington Post, The FanHouse]

And With Leather has a shortcut to her Maxim Photo.

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