We were watching “The Simpsons” the other night and saw a Circuit City ad featuring mascara wearing Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy. The realization that we actually knew this loser’s full name and had seen enough of him to think he sucks donkey balls was when we’d officially had enough.

This pretty boy is famous because: A) He’s in a mediocre band with two marginally popular songs, and B) He dates Ashlee Simpson.

In most cases we’d give someone a little dap for landing the post-op Ashlee. We would certainly decimate her if given the opportunity. But from the looks of this melancoly loser we’re pretty sure he’s an aggressive handholder who likes to talk about unicorns and fall fashions. We seriously doubt he’s done any decimating of his own.

And if you’re looking for another reason to punt this guy in the nads, just google him and take a look at the first story you see. Yep, it’s Wentz whining about how he’s a massive depressive and how tough and cruel life is. Boo fucking hoo. We don’t have our MDs yet or anything, but we are just about certain that “bi-polar” is code for “in the closet”.
Pete, you mascara gooping tool, here’s your punch in the face.

Email This