Today we begin our journey through the Big 10 conference, the place where excruciatingly boring football is packaged by ESPN and mid-westerners as “Old School”.

Big 10 - as always, in predicted order to finish

1. Michigan

Optimist says: Offensively, the Wolverines are bringing back the best quarterback(Chad Henne), running back (Mike Hart), and wide receiver (Mario Willingham) in the conference. Schedule sets up very favorably, only tough road game is Wisconsin.

Pessimist says: Lose 31 lettermen and return the fewest amount of starters (10) in the conference. Lose a ton of veteran talent on the defensive side of the ball. The secondary could be extremely vulnerable.

Overview: The key for this team will be to finish: UM is 0-6 versus Ohio State and in bowl games the last three seasons. One must be wary of the Lloyd Carr Underachievement Factor, but this year they have the most talent and the kindest schedule in the conference.

Degenerate Ramblings: Michigan should have the most balanced and explosive attack in the Big 10, which is akin to being the most attractive girl in the state of Wisconsin. The offense should be consistent, but I don’t think they’ll put up the huge numbers that the public will expect.

2. Ohio State

Optimist says: The best defense in the Big 10. Schedule poses no real threats until late October, which should give this young team time to mature.

Pessimist says: Offense was gutted. Todd Boeckman is a veteran, but physically limited QB. Tough road games at Penn State and Michigan.

Overview: This year’s team should be the embodiment of Tresselball: the place where exciting football goes to die. Look for them to run close to 70% of the time and try to win games via their defense, the turnover battle, and the uncanny powers of the sweater vest. It won’t be fun to watch, but don’t be surprised to see the Buckeyes go into Michigan with a chance to win the conference.

Degenerate Ramblings: Ohio State games should produce plenty of unders. They should produce even more suicide attempts. I wouldn’t advise taking them as a double-digit favorite unless Boeckman shows the ability to make plays, at which point Tressel still may not remove the choke collar.

3. Wisconsin

Optimist says: 16 returning starters from last year’s 11-win team. Outgained Big 10 foes by over 135 yards per game last season. Running game should be consistent and productive with RB P.J. Hill and a massive offensive line. The defensive front seven is a productive, veteran unit that should perform well against the run.

Pessimist says: Senior QB Tyler Donavan has been around a while, but has never seen significant playing time. After avoiding Ohio State the last two years, they must face the Buckeyes and Penn State on the road.

Overview: While Wisconsin benefited from some close wins last season, it’s hard to consider that team a fluke since they performed so well statistically. This year’s version should be better even with question marks surrounding the quarterback position. If the corners can hold up man-to-man as well as they did last year, this will again be a tough team to beat in the absence of turnovers.

Degenerate Ramblings: QB play will likely be spotty early on, leading to extremely conservative play calling. I’d hate to take Wisconsin as big favorites until they show the ability to make plays down the field in the passing game.

4. Penn State

Optimist says: Defense has consistently ranked in the top ten the last several seasons, and there’s no reason to believe that will change. The linebacking corps is particularly outstanding. Road schedule is extremely manageable with the exception of a September visit to Michigan. They could be favored in 11 of 12 games.

Pessimist says: QB Anthony Morelli hasn’t shown the ability to stretch a defense, especially against quality ones. The offensive line was awful in pass protection last season, Morelli was on his back more often than Lindsey Lohan. Still pending felony charges could potentially reduce overall depth. Joe Paterno continues to try to contact potential recruits by telegram.

Overview: In order to take the next step the Penn State offense is going to have to show a little more firepower. As I mentioned before, I’m still not sold on Morelli. He looks like he might try to sell you ecstasy in a bar. He did however have his finest performance in last season’s bowl game, indicating some progress. The receiving corps is deep and fast so if Morelli can put it together and the running game can show some consistency, this could be a very good team.

Degenerate Ramblings: The Penn State Bandwagon seems to be pretty full going into the season so there may not be much line value in their favor.

5. Iowa

Optimist says: Iowa avoids both Michigan and Ohio State in league play. They were decimated by injuries last season so the 6-7 record could possibly be viewed as an aberration. RB Albert Young returns at full strength and should give the offense a much needed boost.

Pessimist says: New QB Jake Christensen must be treated with skepticism. The defense was extremely inconsistent across the board last season. Tough road games at Wisconsin, Penn State, and Purdue.

Overview: The Hawkeyes are in a position to make a move if they can run the ball to alleviate pressure on the new quarterback and get a better performance from the front seven which endured some injury problems last year and suffered a significant dropoff in performance from previous seasons.

Degenerate Ramblings: There’s not a lot of hype surrounding this team so they could be a decent value if they put it together early.

Click here for Handicapping The Big 10 - Part II.

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