The bottom dwellers of the Big 10.

Big 10 - Part II - as always, in predicted order to finish. (Click here for Part I.)

6. Purdue

Optimist says: 18 returning starters, most in the Big 10. QB Curtis Painter will certainly lead the league in passing yards and touchdowns. Could possibly start 5-0. My uncle drinks boilermakers and he’s hardcore.

Pessimist says: Defense has endured an abysmal slide the last two seasons. Their chances of turning it around diminish drastically with the loss of disruptive pass rusher Anthony Spencer. After two years of avoiding Michigan and Ohio State, they face both this season.

Overview: The Boilermakers are a model of mediocrity: undefeated against losing teams, winless against winning teams. The offense will put up numbers–particularly in the passing game–but it hasn’t been enough and it likely won’t be again this year unless the defense shows considerable improvement.

Degenerate Ramblings: Purdue performs well against bad teams and poorly against good teams. Basically, they should be decent as a favorite against the number, but horrid in underdog situations.

7. Illinois

Optimist says: Return 17 starters and only lose 14 lettermen. The defense was 5th in the conference and returns 9 starters. Added some much needed explosiveness to the skill positions via Zook’s improbable highly-ranked recruiting class. He seriously must be paying coeds to have threesomes with these kids.

Pessimist says: They have the toughest Big 10 schedule with very few winnable home games. The best team Illinois misses is Purdue. Offense is still extremely young and will struggle with consistency.

Overview: Although this team went 1-7 in conference play, they actually outgained conference foes by 24 ypg. They outplayed Wisconsin and Penn State at home, but came up with tough losses in both. The Fighting Illini could be worth taking a gamble on, but the schedule offers no breaks. Significant improvement could still result in a losing record.

Degenerate Ramblings: Illinois is definitely a potential buy candidate, as there’s more talent here than people realize. The defense should be fine. If the offense shows improvement, this team could perform extremely well against the number. And yes, I realize I just gave a ringing endorsement to a Ron Zook-coached team.

8. Northwestern

Optimist says: Return 16 starters. Settled at the QB position with C.J. Bacher, who played well at the end of last season against some really good defenses. Explosive RB Tyrell Sutton returns.

Pessimist says: The defense is less imposing than the French Military. Outgained by over 105 yards per game in conference play.

Overview: If Bacher can cut down on the number of mistakes, and Sutton becomes a bigger part of the offense, don’t be surprised to see the Wildcats sneak into a bowl.

Degenerate Ramblings: Should be involved in plenty of shootouts. Northwestern games should go over the total the majority of the time.

9. Indiana

Optimist says: Avoid Ohio State and Michigan. This was a dangerous team at times last season with talent at the skill positions. That should continue with the return of QB Kellen Lewis and lanky receiver James Hardy.

Pessimist says: Defense allowed over 440 yards per game; Big 10 opponents averaged 38.5 points per game on the Hoosiers. Even accounting for slight improvement, they will still really suck.

Overview: The death of head coach Terry Hoepner could serve as a motivating force, but this team doesn’t have the talent to expect any real progress in the standings. A bowl game appearance would be a substantial moral victory.

Degenerate Ramblings: The offense has some potential. If Indiana can gain consistency as the season progresses, they could represent decent value.

10. Michigan State

Optimist says: Thank god for the departure of much maligned John L. Smith, a bumbling dipshit the likes of which we may never see again.

Pessimist says: Not very much to like on the field. QB Drew Stanton is a substantial loss. Running game was awful. The defense sucked, even against lesser competition.

Overview: New HC Dantonio should bring stability to a program that has been anything but the last few seasons. This program has potential, but the pieces aren’t in place to expect much this season.

Degenerate Ramblings: While the coaching upgrade is huge, the talent’s not on hand to compete immediately. Even though Michigan State has been a perennial underachiever, they usually get a decent amount of respect from Vegas. If that trend continues, fade until further notice.

11. Minnesota

Optimist says: 15 returning starters and lose only 12 lettermen. Running game should continue to be productive even under a new head coach.

Pessimist says: Starting a freshman quarterback. The most consistently awful defense in the conference. Minnesota allowed an amazing 456 ypg in conference play and over 1,100 yards in losses to Cal and Texas Tech. Their most winnable conference games are on the road.

Overview: It took a lot of turnovers to avoid last season’s defensive futility week in and week out. More turnovers than anyone could possibly expect to bounce the same way again this season. If the offense hits on all cylinders–which is highly unlikely with a new quarterback–it’s production will have to be consistently in the neighborhood of five touchdowns per game against any competent opponent in order to overcome the defense.

Degenerate Ramblings: This is clearly a rebuilding year under a new head coach. I doubt this is a team I’ll want a part of.

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