Alright SEC fans, what you’ve been begging for is finally here. Here’s a look at the western side of the only college football conference that’s worth a damn.

Please temper your erections.

SEC West - as always, in predicted order to finish.

1. LSU

Optimist says: The defense is insanely loaded across the board. This will be the most dominant unit in the country. QB Matt Flynn has appeared extremely capable, albeit in limited appearances. The offensive line is a huge, experienced group and probably the best in the conference. They’ll be favored in every single regular season game.

Pessimist says: Questions in the running game. The backfield lacks proven contributors. We haven’t seen Flynn face any adversity and it remains to be seen if he can win games on his own. LSU has struggled to maintain a championship level over an entire season and have displayed a disturbing tendency to commit crippling mistakes during crucial junctures of games. Also, Les Miles is an ill-tempered douchebag.

Overview: There’s no questioning the athleticism here, but it remains to be seen whether Les Miles can mold them into a more consistent performer. The previous two versions have been equally talented, yet have failed to take the conference title. Last year’s two losses were marred by missed opportunities and mistakes, despite a significant yardage edge in both games. If they can correct these brain-farts, there’s no question that they’ll get over the hump.

Degenerate Ramblings: Even my grandmother loves this team going into the season, so there will be a built-in premium when betting on them. However, if the offense can adjust to a new coordinator and QB and put up big numbers, they will beat the shit out of almost everybody.

2. Arkansas

Optimist says: If I was starting a team comprised of current college football players from scratch, I’d take Darren McFadden number one overall. Just a raging bad ass. His back-up, Felix Jones, is probably one of the ten best backs in the country. And WR Marcus Monk is severely underrated. He gives the Razorbacks the downfield presence they sorely need.

Pessimist says: QB Casey Dick leading this offense is kind of like putting Corky from “Life Goes On” behind the wheel of a Ferrari. Offensive line loses three veteran starters. The defense suffered some key losses.

Overview: While the offense lacks balance, these guys have run the ball effectively even against top-flight defenses, and I see no real reason for that to change. Casey Dick can’t do much as a passer, but he’s at least figured out how to avoid short-to-intermediate interceptions and how to loft the ball as high and deep down the sideline as possible seeing that Monk is enough of a threat to keep at least one safety away from the line. There’s definitely some question marks on this team, but I’ll ride McFadden’s thoroughbred ass all the way into the finale with LSU for the division.

Degenerate Ramblings: The real question mark here is how the defense responds to some key personnel losses. The offense should continue to put up very solid numbers, so if the defense comes around quickly, Arkansas could be a solid betting option.

3. Alabama

Optimist says: QB John Parker Wilson was OK as a sophomore and should progress and be comfortable enough to take advantage of a talented and underrated group of receivers. Offensive line returns intact.

Pessimist says: The running game has struggled the past several seasons, and there doesn’t appear to be a stud running back on board to reverse that trend unless the offensive line improves significantly. Lots of youth on the defensive side of the ball. There’s no doubt this is Satan’s favorite team, as they’re coached by his nephew Nick Saban. What a piece of shit.

Overview: For a losing team (6-7), Bama was in every game it lost right down to the closing minutes last year, sometimes against teams it statistically waxed (Arkansas, Auburn), and sometimes against teams that largely did the waxing (Tennessee, Oklahoma State). Saban’s track record shows that he should bring tenacity and consistency to the defense, and the offense looks better on paper than last season. If they can be a little more opportunistic and demonstrate more consistency in the red zone, results could improve quickly.

Degenerate Ramblings: I think this team will be improved, but I’m concerned that Saban’s arrival will over-inflate their point spread value.

4. Auburn

Optimist says: Auburn will be good at the things Auburn is always good at: running the ball with a deep stable of backs, mixing in a little play action, and getting after the quarterback on defense. Auburn co-eds are scorchingly hot.

Pessimist says: QB Brandon Cox had trouble finding a rhythm last season, but in his defense, he never had time to against decent defenses. Pass protection was legitimately awful, and there will be four new starters on the offensive line, which could include several freshmen. Defense is fast as hell, as always, but a little on the smallish side and will likely continue to struggle with the straight-ahead power of LSU, Arkansas, and Georgia.

Overview: Tommy Tuberville has built one of the league’s truly consistent, predictably successful outfits and deserves the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise. However, I am extremely skeptical about the offense. For all of the offensive problems Auburn endured last season, they look even less threatening now because of the patchwork offensive line and the underwhelming set of receivers. They were carried by defensive and special teams exploits, but that trend is unlikely to sustain itself. This team was very close to the edge last year, and if they suffer from the same problems on offense, they could fall off the cliff.

Degenerate Ramblings: As usual, under the total will be the smart play in most Auburn games. The offense will need to make significant strides in order to make them a consistent wagering option.

5. Mississippi

Optimist says: Defense was respectable and returns most of their starters. They somehow hung tough with Georgia, Alabama, Auburn, and LSU, losing by a combined 17 points. There’s a surprising and promising amount of young talent coming up in the offense, particularly at wide receiver. Fear the Oregeron.

Pessimist says: Struggled dramatically on offense last season. Will be starting a new transfer QB (Seth Adams), although he can’t be much worse than Brent Schaeffer was last season. The offense is built to run first, but they suck at that too.

Overview: While they competed in their fair share of games, Ole Miss was statistically awful last season and could have easily gone 1-11. The offense has been pathetic, and if that improves it will probably only be by a small degree. They’re clearly still a couple of steps behind the rest of the division.

Degenerate Ramblings: There’s a frustrating lack of consistency here, and I don’t see any real reason for a breakthrough. They were lucky to be as competitive as they were last season, and I look for them to perform poorly against the spread.

6. Mississippi State

Optimist says: The Bulldogs still have a reasonably feisty defense on a pretty regular basis, at least when they’re not playing LSU. Oh, and did you know that their head coach is black? Really, he is!

Pessimist says: Holy shit, this offense has been more ineptly mismanaged than Enron’s accounting statements. They can’t run the ball (2.9 yards per carry last season). Quarterback play has been remarkably wretched.

Overview: This is the losingest team in the conference under Croom, and any significant turnaround would be the shock of the season. Coming off three straight three win seasons, the best that Mississippi State can hope for is to beat the Conference USA fare, pull an upset along the way, and beat in-state rival Ole Miss to graduate to four wins.

Degenerate Ramblings: As inescapably atrocious as they’ve been under Croom, Mississippi State has somehow shown occasional, random competence, including 2004’s shocking upset of Florida and last season’s win at Alabama. Last year also included solid but doomed efforts at Georgia and South Carolina. The Bulldogs apparently can compete with the league’s middle of the pack, but they don’t do it often enough to warrant much consideration.

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