I, the College Football Fan, woke up this morning with a raging woodrow. It could not be suppressed even by a cold shower.

That’s right, today’s the day. Air smells better. Food tastes better. My girlfriend’s tits are bigger.

Today’s the day life becomes glorious again. College football has returned.

And I don’t even care that LSU is going to kick the ever living shit out of Mississippi State tonight. That doesn’t matter. The game is more symbolic than anything.

Tonight’s game symbolizes know longer having to drink myself to happiness. It symbolizes me being pleasant to my friends and family. It symbolizes tailgates and overtimes and mocking nerd schools and my alma mater’s shot at a BCS game. It symbolizes coeds giving me wet dreams. It symbolizes Erin Andrews on the sidelines. It symbolizes Mark May and Lou Holtz trying to sort out who’s more retarded on national television. It symbolizes me driving myself ape shit over yards per carry, missed assignments, and halftime adjustments. It symbolizes me replacing “Go fuck yourself” with “How the hell are you?” as my greeting of choice.

Sure tonight’s game isn’t that important, but the next four months are. They mean everything. The next four months are where I shine, where I bring my A-game every day.

Besides, I really like the under tonight.

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