Passing Judgment: Zach Braff Is An Underwhelming Womanizer
September 6th, 2007 by NextRound
So Zach Braff is catching all this hype for being some big womanizer lately and we are entirely unimpressed.
From what we can gather the “Zach Braff is the new James Caan” hysteria began because a little infidelity on his part led to his break up with Mandy Moore (who we still kind of dig even though she’s going through a bit of a dumpy period).
After the break up Braff began his current lifestyle, which involves shacking up here and there with chicks we feel like we’d have a fairly competitive shot at. Yet the press portrays it like this dude has been filleting three Penthouse Pets a night.
Since Mandy (who–no matter how much we dislike acknowledging it–will always be Wilmer Valderrama’s seconds), Braff has managed to pull some major primo tail like Hollywood’s least attractive leading lady, Drew Barrymore (Boner!), and TV actress Shiri Appleby (pictured left).
Appleby, by the way, looks a lot like your cousin who parlayed a really high SAT score into an Ivy League diploma despite having an inordinate amount of arm hair for a female (Inappropriate Boner!).
We have no real beef with Braff, though. Sure, he does seem to enjoy first base a little too much for our liking, but we doubt he’s asked for the press to show this much interest into his infatuation with chicks any non-famous dude has a shot with.
Our only real point here is that we should all be more concerned about “Scrubs’” gradual decline in watchability than we are with who the hell this dude is sucking face with.
When some real hardcore Jack Nicholson-style womanizing takes place, we’ll be all over it.















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