We just read the report on Page Six about the Kid Rock / Tommy Lee slap fight that ensued after Pam Anderson presented an award at the VMAs last night.

There are just so many lame things in that last sentence we don’t know where to begin our ridicule. But we’ll do our best…

First, everyone we just mentioned is ancient. You take that and the fact that the VMAs are lame by most reasonable eighteen year-olds standards, and you’ve got three washed up D-listers attending a mock award show trying to do every pathetic thing imaginable to garner any sort of attention for themselves. Truly awesome. We’d go as far as to suggest the whole fight was a staged PR move if we weren’t extremely confident that everyone involved is too stupid to think it up.

Second, Kid Rock slapped Tommy Lee in the back of the head to initiate the altercation which lasted fifteen seconds and consisted of further slapping. Wow. They might as well have written “slut” on each other’s lockers. Aren’t these guys supposed to be rock stars white trash? They couldn’t incorporate brass knuckles or grocery carts or something? Instead they open hand slap one another? Super weak.

And lastly, these dudes are fighting over Pam Anderson circa 2007. What’s the point? We can all agree that both Kid Rock and Tommy Lee suck, but there’s bound to be thousands of twenty year-old space cadet bimbo strippers that think these guys are famous. Move on. Take advantage.

So what do we take away from this whole debacle?

1) Don’t watch/go to/support the VMAs unless you’re comfortable being a loser.

2) If you’re going to fight someone, punch them in the face like a man. If they’re bigger than you, sucker punch them like a man.

3) There is no defying ingrained white trashness.

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