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Hump Day: Heather Graham


September 19th, 2007 by NextRound

heather grahamFor today’s Hump Day, we’d like to update you on old favorite that you don’t hear about much anymore.

Of course, by “update you”, we mean remind you that she’s still totally fillet-able.

The picture of Heather Graham to the right is from a recent premiere of her new movie “Adrift in Manhattan”. The flick also stars Billy Baldwin, so–like the majority of work on Heather’s resume–this movie is guaranteed to suck.

No one can argue that Heather Graham’s not very talented. Or probably very bright for that matter. When it’s seriously debatable whether your career plateaued with your bit part in “Swingers” or as the eye candy in the “Austin Powers” sequel, you know your ability as an actress is a bit below par.

But we’re not here to discuss the merits of Heather’s career. We’re here to discuss what a piece of milky goodness she still is. By the way, she’s 37. Yeah, you read that right. 37. Man, we hope our third wife is still getting it done like that at the same age.

So why isn’t Heather as renowned as her hotness should suggest? We feel it’s a classic case of PNS, Premature Nudity Syndrome (not to be confused with DFS). Rollergirl bearing all in “Boogie Nights” was probably the worst thing Heather could have done for her career. When you’re an up and coming one-dimensional hottie, revealing the goods to the world in your first major flick is akin to taking acting advice from David Caruso. It’s suicide.

Actresses in the Heather Graham mold need to milk the intrigue for all it’s worth until they have nothing left to offer. How do you think talentless biscuits like the Jessicas (Alba, Biel, and Simpson) remain relevant? It’s not their gift with the arts, we’ll tell you that much. They always leave a little left to be desired. That’s the key.

So here’s to Heather still getting it done and the legacy of hotness that could have been.

heather graham 2

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