So we’re watching the “Heroes” premiere Monday night (yeah, that’s right, “Heroes”, say something) and the South American fugitive chick that makes people’s eyes bleed is looking really familiar. We just can’t place from where.

Then…BAM! It totally hits us! Porno Hot Puerto Rican Chick from “Sopranos”!

After a little research, turns out she’s not Puerto Rican, she’s Dominican and her name’s Dania Ramirez. Country of origin aside, we really want to give her a lift to Pound Town. Also, we’re big David Ortiz fans.

In case you’re having a complete mental lapse, Dania played A.J.’s ‘no effing way’ girlfriend Blanca in season six of the “The Sopranos”. She’s the one he met at his construction gig and started changing her kid’s diapers so he could get laid. 

We’re pretty comfortable in assuming that anyone who reads this site definitely had several ‘No fucking way A.J. and his chin strap satisfies that chick’ moments while watching the final season. We know we had more than we could count. Holy fuck, chin straps are weak.

But back to Dania. Nice to see she’s scored a gig on a solid show (that’s right, “Heroes”, again, deal with it). Hopefully we’re in store for some Monday night eye candy. She spent the majority of the first episode rolling around in the mud and crying a lot. A bit of a disappointment. We’ve emailed the producers informing them to skeez her up a bit going forward. Our exact wording was something like, “We can’t continue to try and convince ourselves Hayden Panettiere’s head isn’t too big for her body.”

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