It is rumored that many, many years ago in the champagne room of the Crazy Horse Too in Vegas three professional athletes–each early in their careers–made an irrevocable wager to see who could play professional sports the longest.

The first of the three unable to sign a professional sports contract with a team in one of their respective leagues (MLB, NFL, and NBA) would lose the wager.

The three athletes were Julio Franco, Vinny Testaverde, and Kevin Willis.

If you take the time to chart their respective careers it becomes painfully visible that some outside force is motivating them. Otherwise, it would be insane for these men to continually attempt to prolong their careers when they are so blatantly and dramatically past their primes.

Where most competent men in any of their positions would have retired decades ago, these three men persist. They trudge from metropolitan area to metropolitan area, joining any roster that will have them, obsessively driven to not be outdone by their competitors.

Over the last several years, with each knew sports season in each pro league, someone is put on the clock. Just yesterday, Vinny Testaverde (43) signed with the Carolina Panthers, fulfilling his duties for the ‘07 NFL season. Testaverde was next in line after the Atlanta Braves inexplicably signed Julio Franco (50?) in June. A few months prior, Kevin Willis (45) miraculously joined the Dallas Mavericks’ roster, clearing him of his sworn duties for another year. 

Unfortunately for Willis, with Vinny’s new Carolina gig, the onus is once again squarely on him. Can the 7-footer answer the bell? Willis failed to make a roster in the ‘05-’06 NBA season. All involved thought he was left for dead. But then Willis rose like a phoenix from the ashes in ‘07 and signed with Dallas (capitalizing on the one-year grace period to the pact). Willis’s agent had better start hitting the phones.

So what’s at stake with the wager? That’s the one thing no one is sure of. First born child? Everlasting souls? Career earnings? Pride? Daughter’s virginity? Will the loser simply be murdered by the other two as a result of losing all utility?

The stakes we may never know. But then again, we may never need to know them. These Depends-wearing bastards may be balling it up when we’re all dead and buried.

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