We caught “I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry” over the weekend. It won’t be out on DVD for a few weeks so you can read this and decide for yourself if it’s worth your time. If you already saw it in the theater, you really should have had something better to do.

“Chuck and Larry” is a typical disappointingly post-”Happy Gilmore” Adam Sandler comedy.

Same writers, same supporting actors, same gimmicks, same cheap laughs, same lazy writing.

We don’t really get Sandler’s career anymore. His movies started printing money, so he began making the same flick over and over, presumably because they make him increasingly wealthy and the brain dead moviegoer contingent keep them in demand.

What we don’t get is how Sandler has quietly begun mixing in out-of-his-wheelhouse features like “Punch Drunk Love” and “Reign Over Me” yet those experiences have had no reflection in his mainstream comedies. We were hoping they would motivate him to put a little more effort into flicks like “Chuck and Larry”, propelling them from ‘watchable’ to ‘genuinely funny’. Unfortunately, that has not been the case.

“Chuck and Larry” isn’t smart or clever. Kevin James (who we think can be really good if used in the right capacity) did not help right the ship. It was the same same Sandler formula:

Concoct a weird set of circumstances. Cast all the same buddies/actors in various unnecessary/unfunny supporting roles. Have Sandler play himself. Work in four to five scenes that everyone thought was funny when out drinking the night before but make zero sense in the movie. Include just enough comedy to keep the film from being god awful. Climax with a courtroom/sporting event/public setting scene made exponentially stupider by unfunny outbursts from the recycled cast. Close with happy ending.

So if you’re feeling like shutting your brain off and giggling at dick and fart jokes OR you’ve just vowed to watch Jessica Biel in any role, “Chuck & Larry” fits the bill.

What Was Cool:

• Not much. Kevin James makes us laugh.
• A surprising amount of gratuitous hot females (in addition to Biel).
• The few inevitably good laughs when two straight guys pretend to be gay.
• Dan Akroyd. We haven’t seen him in a while and he had some solid moments, made better by the fact we were happy to see him. The guy is fucking huge now. Got to be pushing three bills.

What Sucked:

• The movie deciding to take a gay rights angle about three-quarters of the way through. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Just seemed convenient, not motivated.
• See above write up.

Irrelevant Questions:

• Who is Biel’s agent? Did Biel make a billion dollar wager that the movie she starred in following “Next” could be equally unwatchable? Seems like the only answer. Too bad she lost that bet. Nothing is as unwatchable as “Next”.
• Why is Sandler supposed to be believable playing athletes and womanizers? We’re OK with the guy, but he’s decidedly goofy-looking. No movie should try to convince us that a guy with a schnoz his size is tag-teaming Hooters’ girls.
• Is Biel done bulking up? We think so. The last few photos we’ve seen she’s seemed to tone down the workout regiment. But holy shit, in “Chuck and Larry” SHE IS JACKED. She’s hot and kinda creepy at the same time. It made us feel weird about ourselves. You never want to find yourself asking yourself if you could be attracted to a transvestite.
• Is a Lance Bass cameo a good thing? We enjoyed it a little too much.
• Remember when Rob Schneider and David Spade were funny? No? Neither do we.

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