Once we jumped head first into MILF Month, we quickly came to the realization that there aren’t enough Wednesdays in October to satisfy the number of famous chicks with kids that we want to give the business to.

So, in order to somewhat compensate, we’ll be objectifying honoring a trio of hot moms today. Any one of the three we’d ravage with their kids in the room if the opportunity presented itself. Their kids would have to be napping, of course. We have principles.

1. Heidi Klum

Heidi is such an effing goddess. How can we expand on her well-established uber hotness? We can’t. So we’ll just ramble off some reasons we love this pretty lady in no discernible order:

Hottest German EVER. Immune to aging. Immune to the effects of child birth. Seems like the kind of chick who wouldn’t get bent out of shape by us staring at her. The SI Swimsuit issue has been downhill since her departure. Married Seal…

OK, we admit, the marrying Seal thing is kind of weird. But–who’s kidding who?–the dude is packing a horse cock. We all know it. God definitely overcompensated somewhere for the facial scars.

2 . Kelly Ripa

Maybe we’re just getting older, but we keep finding ourselves more and more enamored with Kelly Ripa. She’s successful, ambitious, rich, quirky. A lot of qualities that wouldn’t have mattered to us a few years ago.

But, then again, for us to have been interested in Ripa when we were in college she would either have had to star in a series of adult films or had a campus reputation for daddy issues.

Sure, she can be a little creepy skinny sometimes, but there’s no denying she’s in slamming shape and almost certainly a minx in the sack. You’re just not that perky without being half a nympho.

And finally, by popular demand…

3. Brooke Burke

Arguably the least famous and least talented of today’s MILF trifecta, Brooke Burke compensates for all those things by being ridiculously porno hot. Evidenced by her pension for posing nude when cash flow gets a little low.

How Brooke ever quit E’s “Wild On” we’ll never understand. That show was the perfect vehicle for a pin up girl with no marketability outside of her hotness.

Maybe she got greedy. Thought she had more options than she did. Who knows. But Brooke’s gigs since “Wild On” have included things like infomercials, a Rock Star reality show that was canceled in favor of a Pirate reality show, Playboy, being the Sportsbook.com spokeswoman, and the infamous mushroom-induced Burger King commercials (featured below, wow).

Brooke, we still love ya babe. Just keep doing what you’re doing and we’ll always be in your corner. And by “doing what you’re doing”, we mean being a hot mom and deciding to do another nude shoot just when your old spreads are starting to get a little stale.

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