Imagine waking up this morning and being Dax Shephard. Think about the things you’d have to think about.

• Your career plateaued when Ashton Kutcher was bossing you around on “Punk’d”.

• You’re decidedly unfunny.

• You’re 6′2″, which means you’re a foot taller than anyone that matters in Hollywood.

• You thought you were dating Kate Hudson (who, by the way, highly resembles a 15-year old boy), only to find out she’s peaced you, and it was either for Dane Cook or Heath Ledger.

• You realize you’ve just been dropped by a chick whose last two relationships have been with drug addicts for Dane Cook and/or Heath Ledger.

• You further realize you played second fiddle to Dane Cook and Jessica Simpson in the crappiest move ever made and you didn’t even get a peak at Jessica’s boobs to make up for it.

• You check your IMDb page and see someone has commented that your resume resembles that of an underachieving Pauly Shore in his prime.

• You check Dane Cook’s IMDb page and realize one of the biggest douchebags in the industry has dominated you in every facet of your life.

Man, the few times we’ve ever thought about Dax Shephard, we’ve always come to the conclusion that he sucks. Now after doing some research, and putting ourselves in his shoes for a morning, we’ve realized that he sucks out loud.

At least the guy probably has about 5 years before the expiration date hits on the “I was the guy on ‘Punk’d'” line that allows him to bang strippers. So he’s got that going for him.

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