We sway back and forth on whether Kristen Bell is banging or not.

Sure, we would certainly jump at the opportunity to trade paint with her, no questions asked, but sometimes we feel a little weird about thinking she’s hot. You know, because she’s a midget and may or may not be cross-eyed.

But hey, you are who you are, right?

Kristen’s Hump Day Vitals

Height: Kevin Connelly Short.

Front Court: Limited, but not completely non-existent.

Junk in the Trunk: See Front Court.

Physical Imperfections We Have No Problem Pointing Out: Carny eyes, Looks young enough to pass for one of the “models” on the barely legal site Steve Irony subscribes to.

Kristen’s Hump Day Bio

Best Known For: Crappy WB show no one watched, “Heroes”.

Thing We’re Impressed By: Two show stint on “Deadwood” where she played a novice prostitute.

Fun Facts: From Detroit (heh, heh), Likes hockey (heh, heh), Thinks Eminem was so 2001, Says nightly prayer that Matt Millen has finally turned the corner on incompetence.

Ugh: Voted PETA’s “World’s Sexiest Vegetarian” for 2006. Second place went to Chelsea Clinton.

Kristen’s Hump Day Promiscuity Evaluation (Score 1-10)

Physical Feature Most Asking For It: Do Me Stare (8)

# of Dudes She’s Certainly Been Invaded By: 1 (1)

Average Level of Douchiness of Said Dudes: Never heard of the guy, default to Moderately Douchey (5)

How Many Drinks We’d Have to Buy Her to Take Her to Poundtown: 34, i.e. enough to induce unconsciousness (2)

Potential for Prudiness: High (3)

Psycho Potential: Frighteningly High (9)

Potential for Behind-Closed-Doors Freakiness: High, see Psycho Potential (9)

Happy Hump Day!

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