Meeting for the first in New York, days before the Heisman Trophy ceremony.

Tim Tebow: Hey, Colt. How’s it going?

Colt Brennan: Oh. Hey, Tim. Glad to see you made it.

Tebow: Yeah, um, you too…

Brennan: Listen, let me clear the air on that stuff Coach Jones said. He was just trying to go to bat for me since I’m so awesome but play at 3 AM and people aren’t fully aware of my awesomeness. Nobody thinks you’re a “system” quarterback.

Tebow: Totally understand. No hard feelings. I mean, if “system quarterback” means scoring at will, winning the Heisman, and having a massive cock that swings in and out of sorority houses in Gainesville, then that’s a title I’m happy having.

Brennan: Good. Glad you understand. Just because you’re about as accurate as my grandma with cataracts doesn’t mean you can’t get paid on the next level. My uncle’s a pro scout, and he says the league loves guys who’ve been tackled a million times in college and can’t throw a slant route.

Tebow: I get where you’re coming from. And you’re probably right. The pro game is much more suited to undersized Hawaiian wiggers with ill-advised dye jobs. I’m going to have to figure out a way to refine my game.

Brennan: I have some highlight DVDs in my bag if you need a study aide.

Tebow: Really? How ’bout that? Nice of you to offer, but I think I’ll have to pass. Watching a bunch of one star kids play in the WAC probably isn’t going to do me a lot of good. I know it’s hard to believe, but we’ve got guys that run sub 5.0/40’s in the SEC.

Brennan: Is that right? I have to admit, I’m usually too busy tossing touchdowns to keep track of that sort of thing. You know, because I’m a quarterback, and what we do is throw touchdowns.

Tebow: I do need to throw more. That’s for sure. I’ll probably just take my time progressing over the next two years. You know, win two more of these Heisman things and participate in an inordinate amount of threesomes.

Brennan: Threesomes, really? You must be catching up from being home-schooled. We’re a little more progressive in the Aloha state. I’m currently buffing up on tantric. Speaking of which, is your sister here? I wanted to run something by her. And by “something”, I mean my dong.

Tebow: Sorry, she couldn’t make it. Hey, is that Darren McFadden?

Brennan: Looks like it. Man, that dude is good. He might win this thing.

Tebow: Only if Chase Daniel decides to pull his name out of the running.

[Both laugh hysterically]

Brennan: Ha, ha. Chase Daniel. That guy sucks.

Tebow: Heh, heh. Yeah, he does.

Brennan: So, you want to blow off these interviews and hit up Scores? Troy Smith told me all we have to do is go in, tell them who we are, and ask for the “Gino Torretta treatment”. Things get weird from there.

Tebow: It’s a plan. But do me a favor and throw on a hat first.

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