Mike Oxbig’s NFL Picks: Week 16
December 20th, 2007 by NextRound
Greetings Gambling Degenerates!After a very un-Oxbig like two weeks, all is now right with the world as we went 3-0 ATS on our 3 unit plays in Week 15. That’s +9 units folks, and that puts us back on track for another extremely profitable season. Week 15 brought us two things:
A) the profits we are accustomed to, and
2) a few of the haytas out of the sewer, namely commenter trolls with clever handles like, “Oxbig Sucks”
Fuck with the bull and you get the horns, fellas. Bring your weak, wanna be Spike Lee smack to Mike Oxbig, because I am Reggie Fucking Miller in the 4th quarter of Game 7…which begs the following question: are you haytas gonna hop on board the Oxbig Gravytrain or are you gonna be the ATS losers sitting on the sidelines? It’s your call…
In the meantime, the rest of us have some winning to do.
*All plays 3 units*
BUF +3.5
ARI -10
SEA -10
NYJ +9
SD -8
Merry Christmas everybody!
Mike
Mike Oxbig is NextRound’s “Search for a NFL Handicapper” contest winner and new resident virgin. Enjoy his weekly NFL pick column.
Week 13 Picks:
Week 12 Picks:
December 20th, 2007 at 12:24 pm
Reggie Miller never won an NBA Championship.
December 20th, 2007 at 4:54 pm
“haytas”? Really.
December 20th, 2007 at 8:39 pm
Reggie never won a ring huh? No shit? Why doesn’t anybody tell me these things?!?!
I was referring to his 23 points in one quarter bitch slap fuck you to Spike Lee. A lot of similarities can be drawn between the all time greatest clutch 3 point assassin and my handicapping style/performance.
December 20th, 2007 at 9:44 pm
Mike,
Yer having an OK season, since you won the crown. Nobody was paying attention prior to that. I am sure you will “bitch slap” me with your rapier wit or call me a Mongoloid and such. But you REALLY need to just shut up and pick. Let that do the talking. Weekends of 7-1 and 3-0 will shut up the Hehehe “haytas” Just a thought…
December 20th, 2007 at 10:03 pm
Was just trying to get you riled up.
Guess it worked stupid.
December 21st, 2007 at 8:57 am
My fake plants died because I forgot to pretend to water them
December 21st, 2007 at 9:10 am
This Oxbig fucking douche has ruined this whole site. You just bring it down. Nobody fucking likes you. Just shut the fuck up already and make a few picks.
Maybe you could win the contest of “taking a fucking hike” you loser.
December 21st, 2007 at 9:14 am
And the “bitch slap” layeth…
December 21st, 2007 at 7:00 pm
diddy - funny thing is oxbig only posts on 1 blog on this site. i am sure he has no affect on any other articles. if you don’t like him go read a different write-up. i am pretty happy with +9 units.
December 22nd, 2007 at 9:19 am
this is all too funny….i think the talent of quick witted articles and takin’ cash from the man attracts the same types of haytas! Trash Oxbig, he’ll give yah the douche
December 28th, 2007 at 3:27 pm
JugglingBalls Says:
“Waah, I’m a loser that can’t handicap games so I’ll bash the guy that gives good picks advice. Waah, I’m such a pussy. Waah, my mom just hit me with a lamp cord. Waah, I use a pay as you go cell phone. Waah, I’m still a loser.”
December 28th, 2007 at 3:36 pm
So you’ve got a guy who’s helping you rake in the cash with his picks, but runs a little smack and he’s “bringing the site down”? Is this place about winning money or about being nice?
Hell, I’d let Oxbig use my grapesack like Apollo Creed on a speedbag as long as my wallet swells up as big as my pouch would.
You whiney fukkers that complain about the delivery of winning picks while making money off of those same picks stink worse than day-old yolk on your mother’s unchanged maxipad.
December 28th, 2007 at 3:46 pm
I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of NFL ATS picks I provide, then question the manner in which I provide them. I prefer you said thank you, and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a newspaper, and crunch some numbers. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to!
(ghost written by Col Nathan Jessup)
December 28th, 2007 at 3:57 pm
I think what we have here is a bunch of sashaying lispers who are so bent at Oxbig’s ability to run smack that they haven’t been playing his picks. This of course means less money to buy mesh tank tops, eyeliner, orange ball gags and gimp suits.
December 28th, 2007 at 4:03 pm
Don’t forget ass-less chaps. You KNOW JugglingBalls prances around his trailer Silence of the Lambs style, showcasing his man-gina in a pair of neon green ass-less chaps adorned with rhinestones he personally designed using his Bedazzler.
December 28th, 2007 at 4:21 pm
I think what we’ve got here is a bunch of Raider fans who are pissed that Oxbig won’t pick their games, because they know if they bet the game it’s a win/win proposition.
Win some units and have extra $$ to head to Walgreens and do shots of Robitussin, mow some pork rinds and kill a 12-pack of Natty Light.
Lose and you get an excuse to blast your old lady with an uppercut right to the cocksucker, throw her down the stairs and try not to smirk at the emergency room as she explains how she slipped while mopping in the kitchen.
December 28th, 2007 at 4:48 pm
Raiderfans? I doubt it. The Raiderfans I have seen on TV are all wearing spiked shoulder pads, gorilla masks and whatever else they think up while leafing through their Dungeon Master Guide.
The “haytas” here are more your garden variety retro 80s type with kswiss tennis shoes, leg warmers over spandex, terry cloth head band and t-shirt with Frankie says - ‘Relax’ written in glitter.
Hey Diddy, (is that your name, or what you do to 7 year old boys in the back of your van?) in case you havent noticed, Oxbigs column is the ONLY one on this site that has more than one or two comments on it. If you arent happy with the column, then might i suggest you get on over to the “laughfest” that is Punch in the face Friday, or Irrefutably Lame. Oh the hilarity you will find there