To close out the week we’d like to introduce everyone to our new girlfriend, Alycia Lane. You may remember the little firecracker of a Philly news anchor from the whole “sending bikini pictures to Rich Eisen” thing from earlier in the year.

We’ve discussed that incident with her and, don’t worry, no big deal. She’s promised to save all XXX photographs via email for us and to not blind copy Rich or anything. Our relationship is based on trust, which is pretty awesome.

We decided to make our move on Alycia earlier in the week when read about her recent brush up with the law in New York. Alycia and her (then) meathead boyfriend had an “incident” with an undercover police car in the Meat Packing district. It went something like this:

“The petite, twice-divorced Lane, 35, then also got out of the cab and began snapping photos, getting in the face of a male cop doing most of the grilling, the sources said.

The female cop told the anchor, ‘You can take pictures, but you have to step back,’ the sources said.

Lane went ballistic, shouting that she was a TV reporter and declaring, ‘I don’t care that you’re a cop - you dyke bitch!’ the sources said.

Then she allegedly walloped the officer in the face.”

Confident, aggressive, and twice divorced. Yep, that’s how we like our lady friends.

Seeing that she’s demonstrated such an incredible amount of awesomeness over roughly a six month span, we’ve decided to date Alycia until we find someone better to cheat on her with. Which might be awhile with all the anticipated success of her new clothing line (initial t-shirt below). You know we have a soft spot for sugar mommas.

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