Much in the same vain as this week’s Hump Day, we want the first PITFF of 2008 to really encompass everything the segment is about, namely tooling on the shittiest people that walk the planet.

Luckily for us and our cause, Cisco Adler was born.

There’s a good chance you don’t know who the fuck Cisco Adler is, and believe us, that’s a good thing. Because this guy represents the new generation of Motley Crue-esque fame, except without tracks like Dr. Feelgood. Cisco is in a shitty band that plays shitty music and looks like he should be cleaning toilets somewhere, yet the dude is quasi-famous and dates somewhat famous and attractive starlets, a la Mischa Barton.

Now, we probably wouldn’t trade a well-made ham sandwich for the opportunity to chat with Mischa Barton, but taking a look at Cisco you should get where we’re coming from.

Cisco Adler’s PITFF Qualifications

Famous For: 1) Being in a shitty band called “Whitestarr” that was featured on a VH1 show. 2) Dating Mischa Barton, aka the chick on “The O.C.” that wasn’t Rachel Bilson, aka the famous chick with the really long torso. 3) Exposing his massive balls to the planet via the world wide web.

Why That Sucks: 1) There are too many decent bands that no one knows about out there for this goon and his retard band to have a show on VH1. 2) Dating/banging any chick that’s famous when you should be mixing crystal meth in a trailer is a travesty. 3) Having massive balls is actually the one thing we find OK about the guy.

For a Really Funny NSFW Picture of Cisco: Click here. (Funny if you’re into pictures of balls, that is.)

Another Reason For a PITF: He gets to do incoherent interviews with Playmates.

Something Really Disingenuous: Having the name Cisco and naming your band Whitestarr.

Between half the people coming to see Whitestarr thinking they are going to see the lead singer dance to the Thong Song, and the other half thinking they’re going to hear Here I Go Again On My Own, every person in a Whitestarr audience feels cheated.

Chicks He’s Banged That Make Us Angry: Mischa Barton. Lauren from “The Hills”.

Chicks He’s Banged That Make Us Feel Better About Ourselves: Kimberly Stewart, Rod’s kid. That chick is like the female version of Cisco Adler. Gross.

Fun Facts: Cisco’s dad is music producer, Lou Adler. Don’t ever tell us nepotism doesn’t pay dividends for the unintelligent and untalented.

Another Reason To Deliver a Kick to the Balls: This is his band:

“Punch in the Face Friday” is NextRound’s weekly exposé on shitty people. Click here to check out previous editions.

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