Hump Day: Eliza Dushku
January 23rd, 2008 by NextRound
Eliza Dushku has been keeping a low profile lately. Despite leading roles in such critically acclaimed works as “The New Guy”, “Wrong Turn”, “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”, and “Tru Calling”, we had pretty much forgotten she existed until we caught a glimpse of some recent pictures of her at Sundance. It was a nice reminder that we still wouldn’t mind giving her a week’s worth of the business.
You probably know Eliza best from her teenage debut as Schwarzeneger’s kid in “True Lies” or from that time that chick you were dating made you watch “Bring it On” and you liked it a little more than you were ready to admit. No shame in that though. After “Bring it On”, Eliza really found her niche as the resident boner-inducer in many a B production.
Eliza is currently in Sundance showcasing her new flick, “Bottle Shock”, which is actually supposed to be a pretty good film. Hard to say for sure though seeing that Sundance has morphed into just another medium for talentless reality show hos to pose for paparazzi. We read somewhere that Wesley Snipes is screening “Blade 15″ there this week if that gives you any idea as to what the once well-respected film festival has turned into.
Eliza’s Hump Day Bio
Age: 27. Beginning the transition from twenty-something biscuit to respectable looking lady. Either way, we’re all over it.
Hometown: Boston. Thinks the Pats will cover the 14 and is still bullshit Welker got snubbed from the Pro Bowl.
Imperfection We Have No Problem Pointing Out: Suffers from ‘Wrong Light Syndrome’. You catch this bitch in the wrong light and she is not the smoking hot piece of ass you thought she was.
Best Known For: Helping a ton of shitty movies and television shows meet their Eye Candy Quotient. Being yet another effable chick to stroll through the set of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”. Not realizing her dad was a secret agent in “True Lies”. Dating Dodgers Pitcher Brad Penny.
Her Thoughts on Joe Torre Coaching the Dodgers: “Hopefully the guy already realizes Derek Lowe is an overpaid waste-of-space.”
Fun Facts:
- “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back” is arguably one of the top three movies she’s appeared in.
- Her television show, “Tru Calling”, has nothing to do with exotic dancing as one might guess.
- Robert Parrish is her all-time favorite Celtic.
- She does not think Brad Penny’s goatee shaves thirty points off his IQ.
- On the set of “True Lies”, Arnold told her to lose the baby fat.
Arch-enemy: The first lady of banging Major League Baseball Players, Alyssa Milano.
Alyssa’s Thoughts on Eliza: “Let’s talk when she’s seen a quarter of the middle reliever cock I have.”
Our Favorite YouTube Clip: This one from “The New Guy”. This movie had to suck something massive, but this scene justifies shooting the other hour and a half:
Potential for Prudiness: Adjustable scale based on whether or not you are a professional athlete with a six figure contract or not.
Level of Conquest Difficulty: Medium. For us. We’re in the Angels’ farm system. And we wouldn’t have to kick Brad Penny’s ass so much as trick him into severing his throwing arm in a garbage disposal.
“1-10″ Score: Eliza is a Boston “11″, an LA “8″, and a Brad Penny “7″ (Dude won 16 games last year).
Happy Hump Day!
Previous Editions of Hump Day:
“Hump Day” is NextRound’s weekly segment featuring pretty ladies you should get to know. Click here to check out previous editions.
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