What Type Of “Lost” Fan Are You?
January 28th, 2008 by NextRound
“Lost” returns on Thursday. People are excited. Time to determine what sort of “Lost” fan you are.
The Island Fan
You watch “Lost” for the intricately interwoven storylines and the mystical nature of the island. You were inconsolable when Mr. Eko died and last season’s “flash forward” finale left you walking around with a rager for a month.
You also enjoy: M. Night Shyamalan movies, World of Warcraft, and any special edition DVD with super secret easter eggs.
The Sawyer Fan
You watch “Lost” because Sawyer is a raging badass that kind of reminds you of yourself: gruff, complicated, and a little too sexy for your own good.
You also enjoy: “Road House”, “Next of Kin”, and all television recommended by Steve Irony.
The Fetish Fan
You watch “Lost” for the hot ass, but since they’ve killed off all the conventionally attractive chicks (Shannon, Libby, and the really hot piece that was buried alive) that means you’re either into skinny chicks (Kate), Asian chicks (Sun), cougars (Juliet), Aussies (Claire), or man-eating lesbians (Michelle Rodriguez, before she took a bullet to the stomach).
You also enjoy: the Kim Kardashian sex tape (goat fetish) and “Sex and the City” reruns (old lady fetish).
The Backstory Fan
You watch “Lost” because you’re enthralled by the flashbacks and the characters’ bizarre backstories. You get seriously bullshit when filler episodes focus on Rose and Bernard.
You also enjoy: “The Godfather: Part II” and reminiscing about the number of beers you drank in college.
The Hurley Fan
You watch “Lost” because you’ll watch anything with jovial fat people. You back up your Tivo and re-watch every Hurley line. They’re way better the second time around.
You also enjoy: “Disorderlies” and Eric Cartman t-shirts.
The Anti-”Lost” Fan
You don’t watch “Lost” because nothing ever happens, your cock is too big to support anything remotely sci-fi, and Hurley’s got the biggest tits of anyone on the show. You don’t wear condoms because they’re made for virgins.
You also enjoy: Hardcore porn, the NEW “American Gladiators”, and “Rock of Love” with Brett Michaels.
Week 13 Picks:
Week 12 Picks:
January 28th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
the powers that be at nextround mustve hit a dry spell — like me with LC I guess — anyway — I got them taking the bronze right now on my daily blog reading hierarchy — at one point they were gold medalists like my dad, Bruce Jenner — but this stuff is just boring as of late…..
January 28th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Brody, FYI, we’re in the middle of creating the 1.0 version of the site.
We won’t be full throttle until mid February. Everything up until then is just a rough draft of the site. We hope to meet your expectations then.