Hump Day: Rachel Bilson
February 13th, 2008 by NextRound
“Jumper” opens this week. And there’s a good chance it will suck. And there’s a good chance we won’t go see it. But we can guarantee you one thing: we will rent the shit out of it when it comes out on DVD. Mark it down.
Because for Rachel Bilson, we’ll watch just about ANYTHING. That includes action flicks starring Hayden Christensen, more episodes of “The O.C” than we’re comfortable admitting, and uber-depressing movies like “The Last Kiss”, which was apparently set in Zach Braff’s imagination, because it features several scenes where Bilson wants to bone Braff, and that can’t be accurate by any standards of reality. Right? Braff? The biggest chin to nose disparity in the business?
But we digress.
All we’re asking is for all the Friday Night Fanboys out there to flock to see “Jumper” so that this movie doesn’t mark the end of Rachel Bilson’s film career. We realize this will be an uphill battle for you losers since Hayden Christensen has the uncanny ability to ruin anything good. But don’t let that stop you! We can’t let his no-acting ass destroy something else we love!
Rachel Bilson’s Hump Day Bio
Age: 26. But looks young enough for you to pretend you’re getting away with something illegal.
Hometown: Los Angeles. Plenty of people thought it might be a stretch for her to start her acting career playing a high school girl from Orange County, but she pulled it off.
Where You May Have Seen Her: “The O.C.”, “The Last Kiss”, “Chuck”, “Jumper” trailers, and looking up at you from this GQ spread on the linoleum floor in your bathroom.
Dudes She’s Been Linked To: Adam Brody and Hayden Christensen. Which leads us to conclude “frail white guy she works with” is the only qualification necessary to shack up with R. Bilson. Where the fuck did we put our headshots? “Chuck: Season Two” casting starts tomorrow!
Fun Facts on Rachel Bilson:
- Used a body double for the sex scene with Zach Braff in “The Last Kiss”. Claims she “feels strongly” about not doing nude scenes. Way we heard it she “feels strongly” about staying the fuck away from Zach Braff’s love handles and garlic breath.
- Her mom’s a sex therapist. A nugget of information that led to heated a Team Cool & Tough debate over whether that makes Rachel more or less likely to put out.
- Hayden Christensen once overheard her tell a friend she thought Ewan McGregor was the only good thing about the “Star Wars” prequels. She later swore to Hayden she was talking about “Moulin Rouge”.
- Was rumored to be playing Wonder Woman in the rumored “Justice League” movie. She was also rumored to be attracted to guys who run semi-clever websites. None of these rumors have been substantiated though. But they do lead us to…
Our Favorite YouTube Clip: Old snipit from “The O.C.” where Rachel dons the Wonder Woman costume. Please disregard the presence of anyone that looks like Adam Brody.
Our Handpicked Gallery:
Happy Hump Day!
[Sources: Hollywoodtuna, Wikipedia, IMDb]
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“Hump Day” is NextRound’s weekly segment featuring pretty ladies you should get to know. Click here to check out previous editions.

















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