Commemorating The 8o’s: Steve Guttenberg
February 18th, 2008 by NextRound
Too many brilliant people from the 80’s have been forgotten. We’re here to commemorate some of the rare genius that comprised the next to last decade of the 20th century.
First up, the infinitely underrated Steve Guttenberg!
How You Remember Him: As Sergeant Carey Mahoney from “Police Academy”. The fun-loving prankster that made the ten year-old version of yourself laugh so hard a little pee came out.
How You Should Also Remember Him: As a gifted, dynamic actor. As the guy who built Johnny Number 5, pulled off the gay painter role in “Three Men and a Baby”, and played the confused son in that flick about old people going to Mars.
Roles Guttenberg Thankfully Passed On: Tom Hanks’s role in “Big”; Peter Venkman in “Ghost Busters”.
Reasons Why You Probably Thought Guttenberg Was Dead: 1) Hasn’t done anything relevant since he decided he was too big of a deal to sign on for “Police Academy 5: Miami Beach” (1988). 2) You saw he did some guest spots on “Veronica Mars” and remembered someone once told you the CW is where actors go to die. 3) The last time you saw a picture of him he was super shiny and looked like he may have paid for sex one too many times.
Coolest Thing No One Knows About: Guttenberg’s Seagram’s commercial.
Sort of Work He’s Been Relegated to in the 21st Century: Stuff like “Major Movie Star”, the soon-to-be straight-to-DVD Jessica Simpson flick about a pretty girl with huge boobs who accidentally enlists in the Army. Should make some serious noise come next award season. Guttenberg also does boring stuff like directing plays and organizing charities for the homeless.
Recent Cool & Tough Story Involving Guttenberg: Balancing Act from Page Six, documenting that not only is Steve still breathing, but he’s also busy making out with hot chicks in the back of New York City cabs. Nicely done, Steve. Nicely done.

Next up: Michael Biehn!
“Commemorating the 80’s” is NextRound’s memorial to the greatest decade ever.















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February 18th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
maybe he will wear that shiny thing on Dancing with the Stars next season….. guess you won’t have to wait too long to see him in action again