Today’s edition of what’s not lame around the world wide web:

Jessica Alba recreates a bunch of scenes from classic horror films for Latina magazine. We’re not sure what being of Latin descent has to do with horror flicks. Maybe they’re just foreshadowing her life married to Cash Warren. [Hollywood Tuna]

Sure, the Mavs finally got the Jason Kidd deal done, but the real story is that Avery Johnson wanted to ship off Dirk after he displayed his Euro toughness in the playoffs last year. [FanHouse]

Even presidential hopefuls are gay for Tebow. [SportsbyBrooks]

Jason Taylor is this season’s pro athlete representative on “Dancing with the Stars”. We also managed to round up enough pub with yesterday’s post to get Steve Guttenberg a spot. Next up: Nick Nolte. Believe it. [ESPN.com]

The Derek Jeter ride may finally be coming to an end. He was recently shot down by Sienna Miller, who, we’re almost certain, has banged P. Diddy. If that doesn’t deflate Jeter nothing will. Well, except apparently Jeter is also the league’s shittiest statistical shortstop. Hey, it was a good run. [With Leather]

Lawrence Frank may have been the one who got Bob Knight fired. We knew we smelt weasel. [Deadspin]

Megan Fox doing her thing in some Italian mag. [Horny Oyster]

Patriots offer Zach Thomas a contract. Linebacking corp attempting to go from really old to really fucking old. [Sporting News]

Looks like the Ryan Perriloux era may be over at LSU before it really began. Guess it’s true what eople always say: underage gambling, counterfeiting currency, and never going to class will eventually catch up with you. [Shreveport Times]

Wizards dancers doing their best to give Kings dancers a run for their whoring money. [Busted Coverage]

Real news rarely finds it’s way on this site, but since we’re (sort of) part of the world wide web, here it is: things about to get ugly with Microsoft and Yahoo. [Mashable]

Jessica Simpson just doesn’t give a shit about fat people, plain and simple. [WWTDD]

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