Four More Famous Chicks Derek Jeter Recently Whiffed On
February 20th, 2008 by NextRound
As we noted in yesterday’s Daily Awesomeness, Page Six recently reported that last weekend Sienna Miller shot down overtures from Derek Jeter. Onlookers claimed she didn’t even know who Jeter was.
Seeing that Sienna Miller is only hot like 15% of the time, and that she’s banged both Jude Law and Puff Daddy, we’re recognizing this occurrence–coupled with the recent statistical analysis of what a shitty shortstop Jeter is–as the official Downfall of Derek Jeter.
To support this claim, we’ve done some additional research and compiled a list of More Famous Chicks Derek Jeter Recently Whiffed On:
1) Tara Reid
Shortly before his run-in with Sienna, onlookers in Vegas spotted Jeter buying Tara drinks and spiking them with diet pills when she wasn’t looking. Jeter then attempted to drag Tara back to his hotel room, but she dramatically left him in order to go party with the cast from Thunder Down Under. Witnesses say Jeter was devastated.
Jeter’s Denial: “Sure, whatever. Like Derek Jeter needs Kyle Boller’s seconds.”
2) Courtney Love
Onlookers in LA recently spotted Jeter at nightclub using lines on Courtney Love like, “How about breakfast tomorrow? Should I call you or nudge you?” Unfortunately for Jeter, Cincinnati Reds pitcher Aaron Harang was hanging out at the same bar and Courtney only had eyes for him.
Jeter’s Denial: “That account is bullshit. The only thing Harang has ever beaten me on is a 3-2 count.”
3) Lindsay Lohan
The day after the Love/Harang debacle, onlookers witnessed Jeter aggressively pitching himself to Lindsay Lohan. A local lip reader translated the conversation as Derek Jeter continually asking, “Riley Giles and not Derek Jeter? Are you fucking serious? Riley Giles?!” and Lohan continually responding, “I simply can’t afford another STD. I simply can’t.”
Jeter’s Denial: “I think we all know Jeter’s already given that chick a lift to Poundtown.”
4) Kathleen Turner
Just yesterday, Jeter, feeling a bit humiliated, decided he’d approach the one female celebrity he knew was looking for a hot beef injection: Kathleen Turner (backstory here). But yet again, things backfired. A reliable source has informed NextRound that Kathleen rejected Jeter by telling him she is “holding out for A-Rod.” Brutal.
Jeter’s Denial: “‘Romancing the Stone’ is totally overrated. I don’t even like it.”
[Source: Page Six via With Leather]





















