In the latest chapter of The Romo Chronicles, some loser male friend of Jessica Simpson’s reveals to Us Weekly that he anticipates Tony and Jessica being engaged in no time.

To further add fuel to the speculation fire, we made up stumbled upon this Pros and Cons list Tony put together when deliberating whether to get engaged.

Pros and Cons to Marrying Jessica Simpson

by The Starting Quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys

Pros:

• Would have to spend more time with her dad. Fuck, wrong column.
• Not capitalizing on poon potential when QB of America’s team. Fuck, did it again.
• Jess has huge bombs.
• Might give me a better chance to cover Journey songs with Mr. B again.
• Even more Tony on the red carpet.
• Fans wouldn’t give me shit about my wife being at the game, right? It’s only when it’s the girlfriend, right?
• That Proactiv deal is surprisingly profitable. And the shit works!
• Always wanted to be a spring groom.
• Would have to spend more time with Pete Wentz. Fuck, I’m retarded.

Cons:

• Being married.
• So many starlets left to conquer.
• One vag. Forever.
• Joe Simpson.
• Tina Simpson.
• Ashlee Simpson.
• Jessica Simpson. Probably a little harsh.
• Being married to some singing midget’s seconds.
• Being married to some guitar playinig muppet’s seconds.
• Pete Wentz.
• Pretending Jess’s movies aren’t the cinematic equivalent to water board torture.
• Pretending Fall Out Boy doesn’t suck.
• Pretending Ashlee’s music doesn’t suck.
• Confirming to Joe five times a day he’s a good businessman.

Fuuuuuuucck. This is a tough decision. Better run it by T.O.

[Sources: Us Weekly via SportsbyBrooks]

Update: The loser friend is in fact Tony’s.

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