It pains us once again that we must acknowledge the existence of another douchebag parasite. But alas, Adnan Ghalib does exist. And we wouldn’t be doing our jobs if we didn’t tool on him for being a remarkable piece of shit with a better than 50/50 chance of having his body found in a dumpster in the near future.

You may recognize Adnan Ghalib (aka “The Human Landing Strip”) as Britney Spears’s counterpart in her ongoing public meltdown. He’s the guy whispering to her that she’s smart and pretty when she’s oozing out of her tube top and rambling about french fries.

You do have to hand it to the guy for his victory over all the other scumbags in the “Tell Britney You Love Her and She’ll Buy You Stuff” sweepstakes. There was a substantial list of formidable scumbags he beat out for his current position.

So even though we’d rather breakdown last night’s NHL matchups than provide any sort of commentary with regards to the life and times of Britney Spears, we feel this dude is due for his PITFF comeuppance. If just for that fucking thing on his chin alone.

Adnan Ghalib’s PITFF Qualifications

Famous For: Being the first paparazzo to successfully break down the barriers between photographer and celebrity. He’s living the dream: he’s actually inserted himself into the life of a famous person and is now himself quasi-famous. He’s now regularly referred to as the Jackie Robinson of Celebrity Photography in most inner paparazzi circles.

Why That Sucks: This dude has successfully furthered his own agenda by dragging a mentally unstable Britney Spears all around L.A. when what’s best for her would be being chained to a bed somewhere. And the worst part is we have to keep reading about it. Britney headlines have officially surpassed steroid headlines as the most nauseating headlines we read.

Fast Forward to How This Is Going to Play Out: Britney pregnant with triplets. Somewhere in this country there’s a brilliant but sterile cancer researcher yet these two retards can breathe on each other and reproduce.

Other Respectable Jobs Adnan Has Held: Prior to his work as a paparazzo, Adnan worked in the only field more respected than celebrity photography: Strip Club Management. Can’t you just picture this dude staging some of those back room parties at the Bada Bing!.

Marital Status: Married since 2003 to some chick we’re 99% sure danced at the club he managed. She recently filed for divorce when she realized she’s not going to see any of Britney’s money.

Looks Like: Character actor Cliff Curtis. Except with really shitty facial hair. You know Cliff from “Die Hard 4″ and being versatile enough to play just about any race imaginiable.

Favorite Movie: “The Matrix Revolutions”

Favorite Band: Maroon 5

Favorite Actor: That dude on “House” that played Kumar in the White Castle movies.

Other Chicks He’s Banged: Just about every coked-out dancer at the 4-Play Gentleman’s Club in L.A.

Fun Facts:

• When he was paparazzi, Adnan’s favorite celebrity to photograph was Timberlake. Thought he was dreamy.

• Adnan first endeared himself to Britney when he brought her McDonald’s and already new she liked extra secret sauce on her Big Mac.

• Regularly tells Britney he likes how she looks now way better than when she was skinny with implants. Then he goes and masturbates to the Oops, I Did It Again album cover.

Another Reason To Deliver a Kick to the Balls: He got paid roughly 50K to sit down and talk to Entertainment Tonight for twenty minutes.

Previous Editions of PITFF:

• Griffin Guess
• Tyra Banks
• Reggie Bush
  
• Philip Rivers
• Will Smith

“Punch in the Face Friday” is NextRound’s weekly expose on shitty people. Click here to check out the PITFF archives. Click here to email us a nominee.

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