In this new segment we’ll be honoring members of society who live by a certain eternal code. One that states: Condoms Are for Virgins (and Sailors).

For our inaugural edition, we’d like to recognize everyone’s consensus top 5 NFL draft pick before they heard about the three illegitimate children. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Darren McFadden.

D-Mac has gone above and beyond the call of duty by making a distinct pro name for himself months before he even holds out on his contract. In the last 72 hours, we’ve learned that not only is he already in the midst of a paternity suit, but he’s also got two kids on the way (presumably by two different women since we haven’t heard the mention of twins and we can only assume D-Mac is the kind of guy who hits and quits it).

Wow. Those numbers are impressive even for a guy in his position. And that’s the position where poon is constantly being tossed at you and you have the super human physical ability to really take advantage of it.

Darren, we’re keeping our fingers crossed that all the NFL skeptics nitpicking your bony ass right this moment are WAY off. And keep this shit up, it can only help:

Side Note: Maske and Booth have an ongoing career rushing yards wager where Maske has Adrian Peterson and Booth has Darren McFadden. Winner gets ownership of the website. Should be interesting.

[Source: SportsbyBrooks]

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