Today’s edition of what’s not lame around the world wide web:

A little Kristen Cavallari for all of you losers on “Laguna Beach” withdrawal (us included). [Hollywood Tuna]

We’re not Cubs fans, but tremendous rumor going around that Bill Murray may one day announce games. We knew there was a reason we continue to get WGN. [SportsbyBrooks]

John Henry retaliates against Hank Steinbrenner in quite possibly the lamest of all lame retaliations. [Barstool Sports]

With the Falcons signing Michael Turner and cutting Warrick Dunn, it’s only reasonable to ask what the hell Jerious Norwood did to get so little respect. Is it because his name is spelled “Serious” but with a “J”? Because that is kind of difficult to respect. [MJD]

“Nature Boy” Ric Flair may finally be retiring the real way, not the fake wrestling way. It’s a sad day. But your skin can only sag so far when a primary requirement of your occupation is that you be shirtless. [P&C via Deadspin]

Randy Moss is going to re-sign with New England after entertaining zero offers from other teams. How Patriots is this? Now he’ll go into next season with a giant chip on his shoulder against ALL other teams and the Pats didn’t have to fork out a dollar more than they originally planned to. [FanHouse]

MILF Monday featuring Naomi Watts. We wholeheartedly concur on the lesbian scene from “Mulholland Drive”. [Holy Taco]

Just four years removed from “Hustle” starring Tom Sizemore as Pete Rose, what you’ve been praying for is finally going to become a reality: ESPN is getting into the feature film biz. [Awful Announcing]

Tragic celebrity news. Britney and Adnan may have broken up before he knocked her up. That’s a serious blow to the future of MENSA Los Angeles. [WWTDD]

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