Today’s edition of what’s not lame around the world wide web:

A new photo of pole-vaulting sensation Allison Stokke has emerged. Now featuring Cal Bears uni! Which means as long as her enrollment isn’t some sort of Doogie Howser situation, she’s officially legal. If you’re into that sort of thing, of course. [Busted Coverage]

Not to be outdone by last year’s record setting spring game, Alan Jackson will open up this year’s game for the Crimson Tide. Asked for their reaction, the team collectively responded, “Who the fuck is Alan Jackson?” [Losers With Socks]

Nice to see Mary Kate Olsen trying to improve her looks. Has it ever been so difficult to talk one malnourished girl into fries and a milkshake? [City Rag]

Looks like the “Arrested Development” movie may actually come to fruition. We’re a little too excited. [Contact Music]

University of Florida co-ed Amy spotlighted just after her 21st birthday. A restraining order on our boy JB already in the works. [Hottest Girls of Facebook]

Following Hank Steinbrenner’s remarks, Red Sox Nation continues to show it’s solidarity. [SportsbyBrooks]

Vegas reacts to the Favre retirement. Aaron Rodgers simultaneously shits himself. [FanHouse]

We’re a little late to the MySpace v. Facebook competition on Tasty Booze, but we highly recommend everyone get caught up on the action. Well, well worth your time. [Tasty Booze]

A little thing like a drug suspension couldn’t keep the Birdman down! Chris Anderson to return to the NBA. [Epic Carnival]

K-Fed does not practice buffet restraint. [WWTDD]

Indiana cheerleader attempts to take heat off the Michigan State loss and the Kelvin Sampson debacle by leaking naked pictures of herself on the world wide web. [With Leather]

Wildly speculative rumors beginning to whirl about Bill Cowher coaching Penn State after Joe Paterno. The number one hole in the theory is the assumption that Cowher will outlive Joe Pa. [MJD]

We’re beginning to think we may have to back off our LPGA allegiance and give women’s tennis a shot. [On 205th]

Meet the pet food taster. He’s the raging womanizing bad ass you thought he’d be. [Holy Taco]

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