Seeing that we’ve informally dedicated this week to college basketball, why not award PITFF to the NCAA player we enjoy making fun of over any other: Greg Paulus.

Of course, had Duke lost last night we would lay off Paulus today. But they didn’t. Instead they won a game in typical Duke fashion, on a Gerald Henderson lay-in that probably would have been called a charge if someone, like say Greg Paulus, had been defending him. But hey, it’s Duke. You know you’d be disappointed this morning if you didn’t have further opportunity to root against them in the tournament.

We do need to take a moment to throw Henderson a low five for stepping up and putting his team on his shoulders. They’d be spending tonight scamming on Asian chicks in Durham had he not. Paulus–in typical Paulus fashion–also attempted to step up two possessions prior with a move to the basket straight out of the Mugsy Bogues handbook. He missed badly on a shot that the stat keeper seriously considered logging a turnover. In doing so, he only furthered the Greg Paulus legend.

Greg Paulus’s PITFF

Why Paulus Is the Easiest Target in NCAA Hoops:

• Constantly looks like he’s jonesing to blow a snot rocket.

• Traded playing quarterback at Miami, Notre Dame, or USC to play point guard at Duke.

• Makes Shane Battier look like the anti-flopper in comparison.

• Has a serious affinity for hugging other dudes.

• Has the uncanny knack of getting his head as close to opposing player’s dongs as physically possible.

• Has spent his career getting progressively worse, a phenomenon that can only be attributed to the exponentially increasing amount of time he spends daydreaming that he’s reaping the benefits of being the starting quarterback for Miami and not waking up next to one of the three hottest chicks on Duke’s campus.

• And due to the copious amounts of entertaining Greg Paulus multimedia available on the world wide web, we welcome you to the…

Greg Paulus How-To Guide:

How to get your head as close to opposing players’ dongs as physically possible.

How to take a charge like a man.

How to go to the hoop with authority.

How to properly display guy love.

How to be the first person ever to successfully be video posterized:

How to invite the Cameron Crazies to the gun show.

And how to turn a layup into a jump ball.

Now feel free to go out and punch a stranger.

Previous Editions of PITFF:

• Puff Daddy
• Spencer Pratt
• Jesse Metcalfe
• Adnan Ghalib
• Griffin Guess

“Punch in the Face Friday” is NextRound’s weekly exposé on shitty people. Click here to check out the PITFF archives. Click here to email us a nominee.

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