Today’s edition of what’s not lame around the world wide web:

Simona Fusco Stratten has been making some serious rounds on the world wide web the last few days (here, here, and here), so it’s about time we got in the mix and let everyone know we’d probably let her Osi us if she asked politely. [Hottest Girls of MySpace]

College Gameday is heading to Gainesville for UF’s spring game. Hard to believe they haven’t done this sooner. We know, this is the part where we’re supposed to get all bullshit about the overexposure of a tremendous product, but whatever, we fucking love Gameday. [Awful Announcing]

Penny Hardaway loves to things in this world: 1a) Memphis basketball, 1b) Delicious corndogs. He also loves cashing checks for not playing basketball, so make that three things. [Busted Coverage]

Mike Vick ate someone, changed his name, and then signed a deal with the Packers. [KSK]

Speaking of eating someone, Jessica Alba attended a birthday party for Baron Davis because that dude she dates (or married, either way we’re going to punch him in the dick when we see him) is buddies with Baron Davis (who will also get kicked in the shins for hanging out with some tool named Cash). Moral of the story: Jessica Alba is enormous. [On 205th]

Remember Claudia Schiffer? Remember the kid from “3rd Rock from the Sun”? Well, someone at GQ did some mushrooms and decided the two of them needed to do a S and M photoshoot together. Weird. (As a side note, that kid’s a pretty good actor now.) [Popoholic]

In case you missed her this morning, Bree Conden can be your afternoon pick me up. [Tasty Booze]

Great day for the University of Florida. First the Gameday news, and now a new Tebow photo! [SportsbyBrooks]

These Ashlee Simpson bikini pictures definitely aren’t as depressing as the ones that surfaced a month or so ago. Still underwhelming, but not penis deflating. [The Grumpiest]

Some time ago some people around this site may have questioned whether Derek Jeter is still Derek Jeter. You bet your ass he is. [With Leather]

Nice summary of where the Jacksons stand today. Way too much stock is put into the fucked up childhoods of kids in the music industry. Just take Jermaine Jackson for example, he’s doing just…Oh, wait. [WWTDD]

Russell Crowe is chubby, would still kick your ass. [film drunk]

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