Today’s edition of what’s not lame around the world wide web:

Dick Enberg succeeds in getting us to the respect the shit out of him. [Busted Coverage]

South Carolina quarterback Stephen Garcia LOVES the beer, maybe even more so than us, and he’s an athlete. We only claim to be athletes if we think it will get us laid. [FanHouse]

This Simona Fusco chick continues her unrelenting quest to trigger masturbation across the country. [WWTDD]

Ol’ Dirty Bastard’s mom and one of his many (MANY) baby mommas are doing battle in court for his fortune. Crack rock doesn’t just divide itself up. [Page Six]

Guy is the victim of a hoax on Craigslist and has all his possessions taken. Good news is it was a really funny prank. Lots of people got a hearty laugh. [Holy Taco]

Geeks rally for a “Dark Knight” promotion in what may have either been a planned marketing stunt or just the greatest assembly of dorks this country has seen since last week’s Comicon. [Film Drunk]

Just when you thought steroid talk had quelled and the world was good again, Jose Canseco graces us with another book. That makes two more than he’s ever read for those who are counting. [Deadspin]

In a move we wholeheartedly support, David Stern may up the NBA age limit to twenty. That midget is a HUGE college basketball fan. [SportsbyBrooks]

The writing is officially on the wall for Isiah Thomas. But hey, if the guy can weather the horrendous play/team feud/sexual harassment allegation/prostitution allegation storms, who’s saying new Knicks management can do him in? [With Leather]

Spencer’s advise column just debuted. Not as many questions about how to successfully stay in the closet as we imagined. [Gawker]

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