We’ve covered Kate Bosworth once in this segment back before anyone actually read what we wrote. Needless to say, we don’t feel like we did her justice. And with her new movie “21″ opening this week we think it’s only fair to Kate that we revisit her with the full Hump Day treatment.

Kate, your welcome.

The Bos has always been a bit of a conundrum to us. Sure, we’d put her on the express train to Poundtown, no hesitation, but we’re confused about where we’d rank her in attractiveness compared to most actresses her age. A lot of the time she looks fairly unspectacular. And a lot of the times she looks like she could really use a milkshake.

We’re also not sure what to make of this “21″ flick. Do the previews scream “Where careers go to die” to anyone else? Sure, outsmarting casinos at blackjack–especially when it’s a true story–is pretty interesting, but there’s something low rent about the look and feel of this movie. The guy directing has both “Legally Blonde” AND “Monster-in-Law” on his resume, so that can’t be it. But then you’ve got the Bos, Kevin Spacey, and Larry Fishburne signing up to play supporting roles. We’re getting a serious mail-in vibe.

But whatever. “21″ could suck ass through a straw and spell the end of Kate’s career as a leading lady. The important thing to take away is that Kate looks pretty awesome in a black wig. Of course by “looks pretty awesome” we mean “we would have no issue compensating her for thirty minutes of her time”.

Kate, welcome back to Hump Day.

Kate’s Hump Day Bio

Age: 25. So she was like 23 when she played Lois Lane? Weird.

Height: Short to mid-sized.

Weight: Like our golf game, constantly working to break a hundred.

Hometown: Los Angeles, yet she claims she kind of fell into acting. We call bullshit.

Where You’ve Seen Kate:

• “Blue Crush“. You know you saw it, keep lying to yourself.

• “Superman Returns”. Where she apparently played a version of Lois Lane that was a Pulitzer Prize winning reporter at age 19. You could throw a midget through all the holes in that movie.

• “Remember the Titans“. She filled the role of ‘racist daughter asking for a hate effing’.

• “Win a Date with Tad Hamilton“. Remember? You walked out swearing you read somewhere it was funny.

Where You Haven’t Seen Kate:

• “The Horse Whisperer” with Robert Redford. We heard it has something to do with the glue industry.

• “Rules of Attraction”. You probably actually saw this, because both the Bos and Biel are in it, but you have since blocked the movie from your memory because going in you weren’t aware that a) it stars James Van der Beek and b) just about every scene contains some sort of creepy homosexual undertone.

• “Wonderland”. Where Val Kilmer plays John Holmes and Kate plays his underage girlfriend. “Wonderland” just moved to the top of our Netflix queue.

• “Bee Season”. We refuse to watch anything to do with spelling bees that doesn’t involve Asian kids passing out and/or pissing themselves.

Kate’s Super Power: Ability to make you think boobs are overrated.

Imperfection We Have No Problem Pointing Out: Often mistaken from behind as a 15 year-old JV soccer player.

Most Bonerific She’s Ever Looked:

Most Anorexic She’s Ever Looked:

How Standing Next to a Normal-Sized Chick Makes Her Look Extremely Flat Chested:

Dudes She’s Been Linked To:

• Orlando Bloom. They dated for roughly two years until Orlando realized he should probably spend the height of his fame slaying as many bitches as possible then later convince Kate to take him back.

• Some British Model. We saw one picture of the guy and can safely say his is either equally feminine or more feminine than Kate.

Fun Facts on Kate:

• Was accepted to Princeton’s Hollywood-to-Jersey program in 2000. Claims she still may enroll one day but must first improve her skeeball skills.

• Toast, one of Team Cool & Tough’s very own, is debilitatingly attracted to A-Cups. As a result, the Bos is in his top 5 overall.

• Little known fact: Kate made a sex tape with Orlando Bloom. You would have heard of it by now but everyone who’s seen it has mistaken it for girl on girl soft porn.

• After “21″ Kate’s lined up to do an action flick and a horror flick. This same formula has been successfully implemented by many a actress attempting to effectively end their careers.

Our Favorite YouTube Clip: Not our favorite, but the only clip we found that wasn’t super boring. It’s a photo montage, so it’s just super creepy.

And Our Handpicked Gallery:

Happy Hump Day!

[Sources: Wikipedia, IMDb, Contact Music]

Previous Editions of Hump Day:

• Cheryl Tweedy
• Kate Mara
• Camilla Belle
• Abigail Clancy
• Kaley Cuoco

“Hump Day” is NextRound’s weekly segment featuring pretty ladies you should get to know. Click here to check out previous editions.

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