Punch In The Face Friday: Scott Storch
March 28th, 2008 by NextRound in Punch In The Face Friday
This is Scott Storch. It’s not Steve Connelly, Kevin Connelly’s even more ridiculous little brother. We’ve been saving the punching of Scott Storch for a Friday when we’d be traveling and/or really haven’t thought any one person sucked all that much in a particular week. Luckily for us, Storch pretty much embodies an entire week’s worth of world’s suckiness, so the math works.
From the limited research we’ve done we can safely say that Scott Storch was born for the sole purpose of being honored in this segment. Just based on the information you can gather from the picture above, we challenge you to name one person who exemplifies douchiness quite like this dude does.
You’re kidding yourself. It’s impossible.
Scott Storch’s PITFF
Famous For: Being a music producer who’s actually worked with many well known (although collectively shitty) musicians.
What Will Make You Feel Better: Along with being voted the single goofiest looking bastard to walk the planet, Storch’s latest accomplishment has been producing albums for MEGA talents Paris Hilton and Brooke Hogan. Also, he’s not much of a saver, and is now pretty much completely broke. We put a two search limit on how many times we could google “Scott Storch”, but from what we’ve gathered it seems the guy got a little cocky about his talents as a producer and started making a bunch of diva-esque demands to work on albums. Stuff like, “fly my entire entourage to the studio and have an assortment of geishas hand feed us all our meals.” For some reason unknown to us, people decided Storch wasn’t worth that kind of trouble.
And now, just because multimedia is the only way to do this guy justice…
The Life and Times of Scott Storch, Uber Douche:
On the yacht, busy being money on several different levels. This was taken prior to Storch reading the Cosmo article about horizontal stripes being unflattering.

Scott and Eve. He wants you to know that she was on a stair in this picture and he told her not to little buddy him anymore.

Aaaaaaand now you know why Storchy rocks the aviators. Robin Thicke kicked his ass in an alley right after this, citing that “it just felt necessary”.

Chillin’ with the peeps. Storch didn’t realize holding another dude’s hand in a photo was gay until after this was taken.

With fellow PITFF recipient, Puff Daddy.

Heating up his competition with Reggie Bush. Storch claims he can also hit a hole harder than Reggie. Interpret how you will.

Ladies and gentleman, Scott Storch!

For everyone out there wondering if we dressed up our one really goofy looking Jewish buddy in some hilarious clothes and then photoshopped him into a bunch of pictures, we hate to disappoint you. Scott Storch exists. And he’ll steal your girl, empty your bank account, and leave you feeling like less of a man, then go make a song about it.
Now feel free to go out and punch a stranger.
[Sources: Wikipedia]
Previous Editions of PITFF:

“Punch in the Face Friday” is NextRound’s weekly exposé on shitty people. Click here to check out the PITFF archives. Click here to email us a nominee.
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March 28th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
[...] Scott Storch Needs to Get Punched - Next Round [...]
December 16th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Is his chin?
December 17th, 2008 at 9:52 am
Holy hell that’s an ugly motherfucker.
December 17th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
He looks like a Garbage Pail Kid
December 17th, 2008 at 9:23 pm
man this guy is the King Douche of Douche Mountain. http://www.thedrunkcanuck.com
December 21st, 2008 at 11:59 pm
…He looks like a rejected test tube baby… people like this actually exist? Look at this God Damn face.. Ugh. I thought Michael Jackson looked disturbing.
December 30th, 2008 at 10:39 am
You’re just jealous coz he’s got a Veyron
January 1st, 2009 at 11:04 pm
what a gay fuck.
January 10th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
pretty from far , far from pretty ;)
February 18th, 2009 at 1:13 am
[...]
March 23rd, 2009 at 10:57 pm
So, is this guy a progeny of Larry Storch, or what?
March 24th, 2009 at 8:21 pm
Ok the guys got a Bugatti Veyron.
BFD. Any idiot that pays 1.8 million for a freaking car, is a bigger idiot.
Then how about the little known, 40 grand a years warranty, and the 50 grand tire and wheel change?
Lots of people dont know about this crap.
He wont last long. Dweebs like this are a little flash in the fire. He will be broke and forgotten real soon. Business failing and spending money like it is going out of style. It wont be long. Enjoy it while you got it, I guess.
March 24th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
OMFG, this guy in the words of Arnold Swarzenegger,
“You are one ugly mutherfocker”!
Just another dumb ass white boy wanting to be black.
It ain’t working jerk wad. You’re still white and ugly too. Oh and by the way, your mom dresses you funny.