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Punch In The Face Friday: Scott Storch


March 28th, 2008 by NextRound

This is Scott Storch. It’s not Steve Connelly, Kevin Connelly’s even more ridiculous little brother. We’ve been saving the punching of Scott Storch for a Friday when we’d be traveling and/or really haven’t thought any one person sucked all that much in a particular week. Luckily for us, Storch pretty much embodies an entire week’s worth of world’s suckiness, so the math works.

From the limited research we’ve done we can safely say that Scott Storch was born for the sole purpose of being honored in this segment. Just based on the information you can gather from the picture above, we challenge you to name one person who exemplifies douchiness quite like this dude does.

You’re kidding yourself. It’s impossible.

Scott Storch’s PITFF

Famous For: Being a music producer who’s actually worked with many well known (although collectively shitty) musicians.

What Will Make You Feel Better: Along with being voted the single goofiest looking bastard to walk the planet, Storch’s latest accomplishment has been producing albums for MEGA talents Paris Hilton and Brooke Hogan. Also, he’s not much of a saver, and is now pretty much completely broke. We put a two search limit on how many times we could google “Scott Storch”, but from what we’ve gathered it seems the guy got a little cocky about his talents as a producer and started making a bunch of diva-esque demands to work on albums. Stuff like, “fly my entire entourage to the studio and have an assortment of geishas hand feed us all our meals.” For some reason unknown to us, people decided Storch wasn’t worth that kind of trouble.

And now, just because multimedia is the only way to do this guy justice…

The Life and Times of Scott Storch, Uber Douche:

On the yacht, busy being money on several different levels. This was taken prior to Storch reading the Cosmo article about horizontal stripes being unflattering.

Scott and Eve. He wants you to know that she was on a stair in this picture and he told her not to little buddy him anymore.

Aaaaaaand now you know why Storchy rocks the aviators. Robin Thicke kicked his ass in an alley right after this, citing that “it just felt necessary”.

Chillin’ with the peeps. Storch didn’t realize holding another dude’s hand in a photo was gay until after this was taken.

With fellow PITFF recipient, Puff Daddy.

Heating up his competition with Reggie Bush. Storch claims he can also hit a hole harder than Reggie. Interpret how you will.

Ladies and gentleman, Scott Storch!

For everyone out there wondering if we dressed up our one really goofy looking Jewish buddy in some hilarious clothes and then photoshopped him into a bunch of pictures, we hate to disappoint you. Scott Storch exists. And he’ll steal your girl, empty your bank account, and leave you feeling like less of a man, then go make a song about it.

Now feel free to go out and punch a stranger.

[Sources: Wikipedia]

Previous Editions of PITFF:

PITFF

“Punch in the Face Friday” is NextRound’s weekly exposé on shitty people. Click here to check out the PITFF archives. Click here to email us a nominee.

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