Top Five Draft Picks, The Fans Perspective
April 28th, 2008 by NextRound
We’d be remiss if we didn’t start today off with one last draft piece. Here’s how both the Optimist Fan and the Team Cynic see their team’s first pick panning out:
1) Jake Long - Dolphins.
Optimist: The one offensive piece we’ve been missing. I’d like to be the first to congratulate John Beck and Ronnie Brown on their first trips to the Pro Bowl.
Cynic: Ladies and gentlemen, meet the new Robert Gallery.
2) Chris Long - Rams.
Optimist: Douchey NFC West quarterbacks, the time to shit your pants is now.
Cynic: His dad didn’t have the knees for turf and neither does he.
3) Matt Ryan - Falcons.
Optimist: The next Tom Brady, minus the dreaminess.
Cynic: The next Tom Brady minus the dreaminess, quarterbacking ability, and offensive line play.
4) Darren McFadden - Raiders.
Optimist: And people say Al Davis has lost it. Bullshit.
Cynic: Russell v. McFadden, let the Bay Area Paternity Suit Challenge begin.
5) Glenn Dorsey - Chiefs.
Optimist: What. A. Fucking. Steal.
Pessimist: Over/Under on arthroscopic knee surgery = 3 games.
