Step 1: Memorize at least three names from the Hawks starting lineup.

Step 2: Use the terms “young” and “athletic” frequently when discussing the team.

Step 3: Replace the Hawks with the Sonics as your go-to doormat team when making a clever NBA joke.

Step 4: Casually mention to your buddies that Dominique Wilkins was hands down your favorite NBA player in the 80’s. To really sell it, lie about how you vividly remember watching his Game 7 showdown against Larry Bird in the ‘88 Playoffs.

Step 5: Refer to Joe Johnson as “JJ” every time he touches the ball. This will demonstrate your familiarity with the team.

Step 6: Learn how to pronounce “Pachulia” (Patch-oo-lee-ah).

Step 7: Remind your buddies that you’ve been on the Josh Smith bandwagon for a really long time. When they call bullshit produce a doctored email from last summer where you make the claim.

Step 8: Make distasteful references to stabbings every time Paul Pierce scores Wednesday night.

Step 9: Take back at least half the jokes you’ve made about the Hawks passing on Chris Paul.

Step 10: Figure out how to tell the difference between TI and Young Jeezy when they’re courtside for Game 5.

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