Dear Whoever Stole My Laptop,

Not cool. And you suck.

Not only have you deprived me of my computer, but you’ve also deprived NextRound readers of the two or three semi-clever things I thought to myself over the last couple of days. You’ve also done irreparable damage to the financial condition of several adult websites who depend on the copious amount of pageviews I provide to pay their bills.

I imagine you didn’t consider the ripple effect that would take place when you decided to permanently borrow my laptop bag, but the injured parties are numerous and growing.

I hope you can sleep at night. But if you can’t, I’ve got the first two seasons of “Always Sunny in Philadelphia” on my hard drive and they will totally pass the time.

Regards,

Maske

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