Cinco de Mayo falling on a Monday is brutal. Here are the Top 5 Groups of People Most Seriously Affected:

5) Mariachi Bands. Tips for playing La Bamba don’t make themselves. You need muy patrons and muy margarita pitchers to make some real coin.

4) Single Guys. The number of chicks willing to make bad decisions after a lot tequila dwindles when Cinco de Mayo falls on a Monday.

3) Irish Pubs. May 5th means tons of spillover revenue for pubs when the Mexican joints get packed and/or run out of tortilla chips. This year, just the usual Monday night drunks.

2) Fat Chicks. The number of dudes willing to make bad decisions after a lot tequila dwindles when Cinco de Mayo falls on a Monday.

1) Mexican Restaurant Owners. This group is hit hardest. If you can’t serve a packed house of privileged white kids on the day that celebrates your heritage, how are you ever going to turn a profit?

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