Cedric Benson did not have an awesome weekend. Saturday night the Bears running back failed a sobriety test, resisted arrest, and challenged a can of pepper spray to a face off. Oh, and he managed to do all of this while boating.

Seeing that just about everyone can get away with just about anything on a boat, it’s becoming more and more obvious to us that we simply take for granted the things we can do in life that Ced Benson can’t. We’ve compiled the below list of Things Cedric Benson Can’t Do just to remind us how good we have it…

• Get drunk on a boat.
• Pass a sobriety test.
• Go a month without an injury.
• Be civil towards police officers.
• Teach some ugly chick how to drive a boat.
• Dodge pepper spray.
• Not cripple a fantasy football team.
• Be liked by bosses and coworkers.
• Go to a Cubs game without getting cursed at.

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